About the control crying question

I sent a message, then took the time to read other questions and answers. I came to the conclusion that maybe it would be best for me to talk to another person about this, as the advice i have read from other people's quesions doesn't sit well with me, and is against what i believe is best for children. My values as a mother is that babies be breastfed for the first 2 years, and put to sleep on the breast. This makes for happier, more settled children and carries on with them for life. I also feel that children should be able to share a bed with their mum until they are ready to move to their own bed, and adults who don't allow it are not allowing it for selfish reasons, then justifying it by saying "Children need to learn to put themselves to sleep and in their own bed, that's what is best for them" which isn't true. SIDS is reduced by babies sleeping with parents, also they go more easily to their own bed, and people to have allowed their baby to share their bed find they are more settled for longer periods. I do apologise if i've wasted anyone's time, the other answers do go against my own values so it would be best to talk to someone else, perhaps the Australian Breastfeeding Assoc. who have similar values to myself.

Hi Jade,

Controlled comforting is not for everyone and the program we teach can be hard for some parents to follow through with, but if nothing else after reading our advice they will have gained the knowledge that the most probable reason their baby is not sleeping is because they associate sleep with feeding to sleep or rocking to sleep, and that on waking on their light sleep they look for that same comfort to return to sleep. Controlled comforting is used to teach babies and toddlers to sleep independently, and more often than not is applied when a mother has reached her wits end and can longer cope with the pressure of a baby that won’t sleep. Why? Because it is the most tried and proven way to teach a baby to sleep independently. Our aim also is to teach good settling & sleeping habits from Newborn, but if a mother would much prefer to have a baby sleeping with them constantly then it is their given right to do so. SIDS is not proven to be reduced by babies sleeping with their parents and I would not like parents to believe that this information is factual.

I wish you well, Maree

It is best for the mother to have the baby in a routine, this is true. The doctor I spoke to about control crying said that the method works, because the child works out that his or her needs are being ignored, therefore it becomes a matter of neglect. He pointed out that children who are abused are better behaved at home than other children, this is because they are frightened. It's the same with babies who are neglected, they feel they need to get into the habit of putting themselves back to sleep because their mother is not going to help them. Also, about SIDS, it is true that the cause of SIDS is unknown, however i have information from the children's hospital in brisbane saying that fewer babies who co-sleep with their parents die from this than those who sleep alone, so it is encouraged by some doctors for parents to allow babies in their bed. Most people in the Breastfeeding Association group i go to have dismantled their beds so that their children can sleep with them without the danger of falling out of bed. I apologise again if i have wasted anyone's times, but what you say goes against what I believe, and what my doctor feels is best for babies. And what is best for mums and dads is not always what is best for babies.