Sick of the Breastfeeding Push!!!

I am sick and tired of the push on breastfeeding!!!

I understand that reasearch has been done that tells us that breast milk is best for babies and thats great, but what makes me angry is the guilt that is layed mothers who chose not to, or who cannot breasfeed for what ever reason.

Some women physically cannot breastfeed for medical reasons and some women (like myself) found it an extremely stressful and unenjoyable experience for a range of different reasons.

I decided to put my son on the bottle when he was 5 weeks old as I found breastfeeding very stressful. He was a very hungry baby who would constantly feed and never felt satisfied with what I was giving him. I tried ringing various support agencies for advice and was made to feel guilty and like a bad mother for even considering wanting to put him on the bottle. They were no help to me! I began to feel resentful toward him for wanting to feed and could never relax while he was attached. I came to realise that this wasn't fair on myself and certainly wasn't fair on my son. I made the decision to put him on the bottle with his very best interests at heart and since then he has thrived. As for bonding, we have bonded better since being on the bottle as I don't feel the stress and resentment that I felt while trying to breastfeed.

If you can breastfeed and feel comfortable doing it then thats great, go for it! But the women who don't breastfeed their children need support too. We very rarely see articles that include info about bottle fed babies, it's main concentation is on breastfed babies and thats not fair to the rest of us.

Let me be clear that I am not against brestfeeding in any way, I am just against mothers who are made to feel guilty for choosing not to do it.

I'd be interested to know anyone elses view on this topic and would like to hear from other mothers who have chosen not to breastfeed and have been given a hard time for it.

Regards
Dayna

I agree with you Dayna! I am sick of being made to feel a failure!
I tried with both my children but it just didn't happen with either and I so badly wanted to breastfeed!
We support mum's who breastfeed in public so please support us mum's who formula feed for no matter what reason!

hi dayna
i had the same problem as you i found breast feeding very demanding and i hated every minute of it!!
when i go out sometimes with danika i feel almost embarassed when bottle feeding her because of the way some people look at me as if im feeding my daughter rat poison or something.
i too believe that brest feeding is best but i also believe that bottle feeding is good to.
danika and i have not been happier since starting the bottle and i believe that other mums that are/have breastfed their babies should not treat us as if we are too lazy to breast feed.

good on you for starting this topic!!

Hi Dayna,

I breastfed my first son until 12 weeks and he was fussing and I was becoming stressed so I put him on the bottle. My second son went on the bottle about 5 days old because my milk did not come in due to losing alot of blood after having him. He was a big baby (9lb 5oz) and he was getting frustrated because my milk was not in and I felt he was always on and that was making me sore.

My body was trying to cope with blood loss and couldn't cope with the extra pressure of feeding a second person. I was made to feel so guilty that I didn't persist enough, I cried for days feeling like a failure. My clinic nurse told she understood that it wasn't my choice and he had to go on the bottle then in the next breath carried on about how much better breastfeeding was better than formula and formula was not the best choice for baby. What happened to not having a choice.

Even if you do have a choice, its your choice and you should be supported in whatever you decide. Isn't is better for a baby to have a happy Mum then a Mum that is stressed and depressed because they are not happy with breastfeeding but continue to do it because its 'the best for baby'.

Breastfeeding is great if you and your baby are happy but if not then don't do it, it's your choice.

Tracy

Hi Dayna

I know exactly how you feel!!
My story is that my breast milk never eventuated. Initially my baby James had the colostrum but then nothing. Bubs was getting hungrier and mum was getting more and more frustrated and depressed. I felt like such a failure as I was told time and time again that breast is best for baby and to keep trying. My baby was a very good sucker and latched on wonderfully but he wouldn't just cry, he would scream as though he was in agony because he was still hungry after each feed. I was sent home with this blue expressing machine and kept trying, We tried everything, hot showers, hot towels, my mother in law even gave me irish beer but nothing. By day 8 the maximum i was producing was 20ml a day. I was so frustrated with myself, exhausted as I couldnt sleep at all. I was crying during his every formula feed, while i sat there hand expressing I felt like a complete failure even though I had given birth to a beautiful healthy 8 pound baby boy. My baby has been formula fed since day 2 of his life and has been thriving ever since. He is 8.5 months now and has just experienced his first ever cold, sniffles.

I am wondering why someone didnt tell me that it is ok not to breastfeed and to just take it easy and enjoy my baby. Instead I was made to feel so guilty and lived my own private hell ...

Whether we are breast feeding or formula feeding our babies, shouldnt matter, we are all mummies and we all need to be praised for the wonderful jobs we are doing!!!!!!

I agree Helen, we should be praised for just in general doing the best we can as mothers. After all babies don't come with a manual and every baby is so different.

My son is now six months old and like I said in my original post he was put on the bottle at 5 weeks, he is a thriving and happy little boy and I am now 100% confident that I made the right decision. I just wish I had have felt like that at the beginning. But through this experience, I know I will have the confidence to make decisions like these a lot more easily with my next. I won't be pushed around and I won't be made to feel guilty by anyone. I'll do what is best for me and my baby always and I definitely won't worry so much about other peoples opinions.

as a breast feeding mum to 3 and a bottle feeding mum to 2 i'm 100% for both.

my first son was like a black hole, and being 18 and on my own i was a mess by 10days. so with a gentle push from my mother he went onto the bottle, i had everyone and anyone telling me i didnt persevere for long enough and i'd let us both down blah blah blah, well he was a huge gorgeous happy bubbly little man.

i managed to breast feed my 2nd baby without grief for 6mths, but my 3rd baby was another story altogether. my milk came in on day 4 after having her, and i was instantly engorged so i had a shower and washed it away to relieve the pain. well i never made that supply back up and we struggled and suffered for 11 long weeks. everntually i came to a place where i knew the bottle was what she needed, not someone elses opinions! so on the bottle she went.

#4 was breast fed and now i'm trying with #5, but most days theres just not enough milk, so at 5 weeks, we're off to the shops tomorrow to get a tin so we can top up if need be, i know it's best for him andi know it's best for me!

i'm sorry u guys have been made to feel so bad for your choices, it makes me really angry & guilty. i hope society changes in time and gets of the backs of mums doing their best

Hey there beautiful mummies

It saddens me that first time mums are made to feel this way when it should be the happiest most beautiful time, bonding with your newborn baby.

When we started attending playgroup, baby Jamie was 5 weeks old at the time. I walked in and sat down next to all the other mummies who happened to be breastfeeding and I took out the bottle!! !!! ...shock horror it was as though I had taken out a shotgun, some of the looks I received were really quite funny but I didnt let it get me down I went back the following week and continued going. Months down the track a few of the ones with the funny looks approached me and asked me for advise on formula feeding as they had decided to wean their babies and I was happy to tell them all that I knew on bottles, teats, what flow etc...

As Howie mentioned, I too will not be the same with my second and if I can not breastfeed my baby, I will not be pushed around or allow anyone to make me feel guilty again.
This whole experience I guess has made me stronger and somewhat wiser smile

i breast fed my 1st son 4 3 days i didnt bothre with ht othre 2 at all dont worry abput what othres think my boys are all healthy hardly sick yet my neice was brest fed for 16 months was always sick and now has life thetening food allergies

hey there. I am glad there are others out there. I fed my daughter for 2 months on the breast. She rejected one and so was also having formula. Then she strated to reject the other. The bottle was just so easy, lateaka was so content on just laying there after a feed or playing on the mat. When on the breast she was one who I couldnt even leave for half an hour without her crying. I just got so sick of it. My mum was a great help and convinced me there wasnt anything wrong with the bottle(thanks mum), but otherwise I felt bad to do so as everyone had been saying breast feeding is the way, blahblahblah. You know how it goes. But lateaka is chubby and a happy little girl, no problems about it.
Also just wondering does breastfeeding keep off the weight??

Dayna,
It sounds like you had a shocking time of it at first. It takes the fun out of being a mum if you're streesed out from trying what is obviously not working. Next time someone judges you tell them that its none of their business how you raise your son.
Like you said breastfeeding is not for everyone. Some people physically cannot do it, or don't like it. Does that make them any less of a mother? No. In fact I think its a bigger person who can admit that its not working and therefore change tactics when they know that they're going to face criticism. As you would know by now though everyone is an expert on you baby but you. And its you who spends the most time with him so knows when he's hungry, tired, windy or whatever.
I've had people tell me that my son's hungry less than 1/2 hour after I've fed him because he was sucking his fist. He actually has always done that.
I'm still breast feeding my son, but occassionally think it might be nice to put him on the bottle then I could leave him more and get out of the house, or if he woke in the middle of the night that I could make my husband get up to him.
The only reason I'm going to keep going is because I have a history of breast cancer in my family and baceause my best friend who is apparently an expert on me has told me that once Liam hits 6 months my milk won't be any good. I just want to prove her wrong.
Don't let others make you feel bad about how you're raising your son. They say the most important part is the collostrum which he would have gotten when he was just days old. And just because you couldn't do it this time doesn't mean you won't be able to do it next time, if you want to try.
Kristy

i get the same thing when i visit my midwife and my mother is the worst she tries to force me to breastfeed as this is the way she did it with me and my sisters, and because i have asthma they say that it helps prevent it i was breastfed and i have it very severe so it obviously didnt help me.
I had a very unsettled baby (she only slept for 1-2 hours in a whole 24 hour period!) i needed sleep too so my partner had to feed and he cant exactly breastfeed so we chose the bottle instead.
and have the same trouble in shopping centres with the "older generation" staring at me for formula feeding like it was the wrong way to feed your child.
i now have 2 perfectly healthy girls (3yrs and 10 months). excellent topic girl!