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bub not bonding Lock Rss

hi I'm a 23yr old first time mum whos having problems with bub and dad.
My 4month old son doesn't seem to have any interest in my partner,his father. It doesn't seem to matter what we do he is just has no interest at all. I was just wondering if anyone could help me find some sort of way to better the situation as now it is starting to put a strain on both our relationship together and the way he sees our son.

kia, bris

The only advice I can offer is for Dad to be patient. It is only natural that baby turns to mum and is really interested in you as you're his lifeline.
I know that when Ella is sick or tired she won't have a bar of her Dad, she only wants her mother.
Maybe you could try leaving the two of them on their own, or he could take bub for a walk in the pram by himself just so that they have time together by themselves. I know if I'm around with Ella and her dad she is always trying to get my attention, but when I'm out of the room she loves being with her Dad.

Louise, Brisbane Qld. Mum to Ella and Luca


Isabella is 9 weeks and I too experience the same thing. My husband doesn't associate much with our baby. It makes me angry and most times I have to suggest he give her a cuddle when he comes home from work. I've spoken to other people about this and some say that some dads don't bond until the baby is more interactive like 1 yr this way they play ball etc where as when they're little they can't think of things to do with them. I think if they are uncomfortable the baby senses this and he too feels awkward.

Claudia, Vic (Bella 2 and Billy8mths

At first I was worried my partner wouldn’t bond with Tyson and vice versa but as he gets older he is becoming more involved with him. I make sure every night they have a bath together as this is there special bonding time and it gives me a chance to do a few things during 'zoo' hour. Sometimes I need a break from Tyson and when I hand him over to my partner and leave the room, Tyson watches me leave and then bursts into tears but I think it is normal that young babies prefer to be with their mothers.

Michelle from WA - researching for Tyson 6 months.

thanks for the advice from all. we have started giving bub a bath with his dad and he loves it. he crys when i leave but soon stops and starts splashing away with dad. Dad also now takes him for an hour so that i have some "me" time and that seems to help. it's only been a week but i can already see a change in how dad reacts to bub. thanks again

kia, bris

Hi Kia,
If you're not breast feeding maybe also try giving Dad a bottle and have him feed once a day. If you are breast feeding maybe try expressing a bottle for Dad to feed with. It is a bit complicated to organise. Apparently, you need to express a small amount each feed and freeze until there is a stock pile. You will need to speak to the Breast Feeding assosciation about the best way to do it.
i had the same with my hubby and our first son. It was only when i had to go in for emergency surgery when our boy was four months old and then his dad had him all to himself for three weeks and then had to do everything after that for a month while i was recuperating that he really bonded with him. they are inseparable now and everything daddy does, someone has to copy. right down to scratching his arm or something lol.

don't be too concerned just encourage daddy to be patient and understand that the only thing the baby knew for nine months was you and that you have been it's primary caregiver as well. encourage him to do more things like feeding or just sitting and cuddling. it makes a big difference. my hubby also did the bath everynight from about three months on.

Hope this helps.

my bub and husband are fine together... at first it was hard because i was breastfeeding, but with patience, we worked through it. although it did start to put strain on our relationship, i would leave my daughter with dad, they started to bond.. now he always wants to be with her, play with her and all that. she is now 4 months old. it took 2 months for her to fully trust him, but it happened in the end... now it's hard to separate them!!!

don't worry, you will get there
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