Waking Up Screaming!!!

Hi All.

I have a 13 month old girl who has NEVER slept through the night since day 1!!! I am in routine during the day and it NEVER changes but I can't work out why she is waking at different times during the night. Last night she was awake from 11pm until 1.00am and won't go back off, the night before she woke at 3am and won't go back off. I am doing the huge NO NO and putting her in bed with us as I am 22 weeks pregnant and exhausted!! Does anyone have any suggestions??

Also, how many hours between sleeps should she be awake and what is the "Its Time to Sleep" programme??

Any help would be much appreciated!

Hi Belinda, I posted a reply to another lady with a similar problem to yours. Basically my comments to her were this - routine is essential and that's great that you have a daytime one. The only problem with such a strict routine is she could be following it thru the night. She obviously only naps thru the day so thinks that's the way to go thru the night. My suggestion to you is this - when your daughter cries thru the night, leave her for up to 10 minutes. Go to her but do not pick her up. Lay her back down and put her dummy back in (if you use one) or any other comfort thing she has. Pat her on the bum for 2 minutes and then walk out for 2 minutes. But make sure she can't see or hear you. If she is still crying, go to her and pat her on the bum for 4 minutes and walk out for 4 minutes. Still crying? In for 6 minutes and out for 6 minutes and so on. It may take up to 10 nights to get this to work but if you persist it will work for you. I realise that you are exhausted but you really need to get your daughter sleeping thru before the next baby arrives or you'll go insane! I would suggest that you use the 2,4,6,8,10 routine on your new baby too when he/she is 10-12 weeks old.

If you want more details about what we did to get out daughter to sleep thru, let me know.

Good luck,
Belinda.

Hi Belinda,

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a struggle. I know just what you feel like. My daughter Alynta did sleep through for a few weeks, but suddenly stopped for no apparent reason when she was 5 1/2 mnths.

I was just like you exhausted, and started doing the whole pulling her into bed with me, feeding back to sleep etc. and eventually she was in my bed for most of every night. I had absolutely no idea what to do.

When she was around 8mnths a friend loaned me a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" and after I read that and started implementing it, it changed everything. I was really desparate to get her sleep sorted. Not just for obvious reasons, but also as we had a trip to Melbourne approaching and someone else was going to be with us looking after her while we had to be at a conference. I just knew that would be impossible the way things were.

Anyway, in less than two weeks, she was in a full routine including sleeping through. She actually slept through after a couple nights. Ahh what bliss. I can't describe what a relief the first full nights sleep was!

The book uses a method they call PDF or Parent Directed Feeding and works on the assumption that good sleeping habits and routine are like everything else to a baby and are things that need to be learned. It is similar in some ways to the 'It's Time to Sleep' program, but there are some fairly standout differences too. Both programs aswell as the one that the other Belinda has mentioned already on your forum (Hi Belinda!!) use the Feed, Play, Sleep routine plan. PDF unlike 'It's Time to Sleep' helps you to teach your baby how to go to sleep unaided and 'It's Time to Sleep' (going on what I've read about it) seems to focus more on settling techniques.

Some benfits I see with bub being able to put herself to sleep is that it's far easier to have someone else looking after her if need be and also if she stirs in the night and cries a little then doesn't go back to sleep, you know that there is actually a problem and that you need to tend to her.

Something that maybe helpful to you since you've already done so well with getting her into the daytime routine is that the book teaches you how to teach your bub (well their internal clock anyways) the difference between day and night so she'll then start to sleep through.

These days, Alynta is just 13mnths (today actually) and sleeps 7.30-7.30 then 10.30-12 and 2.30-4.30. She is a very strong willed child, but it's just about basic training. I think without the stuff we learned in the book, we'd be struggling now to handle her, not just with sleep stuff, but in general also.

Anyways, sorry to bore you. Hope things improve for you. If you'd like any more info, just let me know.

Thinking of you.

Smiles! grin