I know how you feel! My 9 month boy has been a terrible sleeper from the start. I have blamed many things on his bad sleeping patterns: silent reflux/hunger/teething/separation anxiety/nightmares/heat/habit/teething or sickness. When he was 4 months old, we went to sleep school and failed (his reflux was the problem back then)
Finally at 8 months, I cut out all feeds at night (he's on the bottle) and find that if he wakes up, all he needs is the dummy. So, now all I have to do is get rid of the dummy dependence!
I have tried control crying but to be honest, I am half hearted about it because I hate hearing him sound so distressed.
My only advice to you is to offer your son water when he wakes instead of milk and then after a week of that, just cuddle him and give him the dummy, after a week of that, don't pick him up and just give him the dummy and then...don't go to him anymore, he's old enough to not need anything at night. Easier said than done, I know, but we as parents have to take charge and remain strong. I'm now trying to follow my own advice! smile