waking up and screaming

hi everyone

daewon is 6 months and i guess he should be starting to sleep longer. I changed his routine, put him back in his cot and left him to sleep on his own and on the first night he slept for a whole 8hrs. Now for some reason he gets really tired by 630 but then he wakes up again screaming at 9pm. I try to settle him back into it but he doesn't seem happy. It isn't just once, it is happening everynight. He is also still waking every 3-4hrs and i have tried diluting his milk but he seems genuinely hungry. What is wrong with him or me and what should i do? sad It sounds like i have many problems with my baby as i have posted a lot of questions in this forum but really he isn't that bad, i guess i just want answers to everything i feel unsure about. i hope im not the only one. smile

Hi there Sue, believe me you're not the only one!! My son is nearly 11 months old and still has nights like these sad Luckily they seem to only be a few days in a row and then he has a good night or two! He always seems to wake at the same time each night, for a while it was 1am (I assume because I used to feed him at this time, months ago) but I would try to settle him back to sleep and I've now stretched it to 4.30 -5.30am before I will feed him (the last feed would have been at 8.30pm) He does have nights where he just wants to scream as though something is upsetting him - I've still got no idea what that's about! It usually coincides with a new tooth though, but not always sad Have you checked out the General section and looked at the Sleep Expert section? Maree Viotto is great and I've even posted there when I was at my wits end. It might be worth a look, at least you know you're not alone smile Don't stress Sue, they'll grow out of it one day - at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself anyway smile Regards, Fel

hi fel,

oh its was so good to read your post. Like you said at least now i know i am not alone. Last night he had quite a good nite but now i am dreading tonight and not looking forward to the unexpected if you know what i mean tongue Apparently he is teething but i cannot see anything coming through. sad

i will check out the sleep section maybe i could find answers there fingers crossed!!

Thank for your reply fel, and good luck with you bubs, inform me when he has grown out of it so i can look for that tunnel. tongue

Hey Sue,

Sorry to hear you having troubles, I know just exactly what you're going through. Dunno if my story can help, but I hope so.

We had heaps of trouble with Alynta when she hit about 5 1/2 months and stopped sleeping through. As a result of this and me getting tired I got lazy and started pulling her into bed with me then we'd both fall off to sleep. The problems really started when she wasn't able to go back to sleep without being in bed with me andwithout a feed. The tireder I got, the worse the problem got and she began waking even more (anywhere from 3 to 8 times in a night) Both she and I got tireder and grumpier until finally a friend loaned me a book called 'Babywise' when Ally was about 8months.

What a Godsend, it guides you through what they call PDF or Parent directed Feeding and within 1 1/2 - 2 wks, she was not only sleeping through, but was also having structured daytime sleeps aswell. Oh Happy family!

Alynta is now just over 12months and everything is still going great because the book helped us learn and lay some basic foundations. Her grandparents are amazed at the difference in her and our sanity has been saved. It also solved our clinginess problems.

You may need also to check out the second in the series which is Babywise 2 and deals with 6 - 15 month olds more specifically, but the first one will give you all the foundational info you need.

Hope this helps, would love to know how you go. If you want anymore info, let me know.

hi shani,

thanx for your essay smile it was great to hear that it all worked out.

We have tried controlled crying and it works to a certain extent as he still isn't sleeping right through but better about 4-5hrs.

The book you suggested sounds wonderful. Where would i get it from...will it be available from the library?

I was also wondering whether it would work if my mum is looking after him during the day and i am when i come home from work as i have a feeling that the change of attitudes between my mum and i will affect the effect of it if you know what i mean :~ my mum does have different ways of bringing up babies and so it will be hard to instruct her and ensure that she keeps to it...her heart is so weak when she hears daewon's cry that she has to pick him up all the time.

I would love to give the book a try as you had such great results from it. Like i said i would like to see the light at the end of the tunnel. grin

It would be great if you could get back to me.

Hi again Sue,

So sorry to babble on and on, I just get so excited!! Oops! grin

Baby Wise is a brilliant book, so practical. I checked out on my local library website (since I actually happened to be on there at the moment I recieved your post) and it isn't available here. Mind you I think our collections are a little prehistoric. I also checked up a couple of websites for you and will include the links if it will let me. Angus & Robertson and Collins bookstores both come up with it in their data bases, but when I realised it was accessing them from the US, I decided to check e-bay. There are a few copies on there (also in US) so I included the direct link to them and the other is to a large Christian Bookstore called Word. I was comparing the prices and found that Word carries it much cheaper than the other retailers here. E-Bay looks as though it may be cheaper again so you can see what you think.

The full title of the book is 'On Becoming Baby Wise' and it is refered to as the 'Classic Reference Guide Utilised by over 1, 000, 000 Parents Worldwide. The joint authors are Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam.

I know just what you mean with your Mum, the best thing Icould suggest Sue is that if you read it and like what you read, ask her to read it also. I'm sure she already knows what sort of struggles you are having so hopefully she would be willing. If she did you'd probably find her much more willing to support you just because she'd have a better understanding. My Mum is also terrible for not being able to stand a baby crying etc. but she's so proud now of the way things have turned around.

There is definitely a light at the end of your tunnel Sue. I really hope this helps. The great thing about it is it takes all the guessing and guilty feelings out of it and gives you a plan to work with.

The links are as follows:

http://search.ebay.com.au/On-Becoming-Baby-Wise_W0QQsoloctogZ9
If you copy this link into your browser, it will take you directly to the correct e-bay search page.

http://www.word.com.au/
Once you're on the home page, just do an all product search for Baby Wise and it should bring them up for you.

Sorry bout another essay, like I said, I just get a little excited. tongue

Let me know how you go and if I can do anything else.

hi shani

how are things going? I still havent got round to checking out the library...slack huh...i have been applying for some jobs so we can finally get some income into the family.

I should be motivated by dae to go and check as it is seriously getting worst but he is staying up longer during the days but he is still really hungry or something at nights that wakes him up.

He has just learnt how to crawl and straight away he is standing up in his cot now, holding on to the sides. This has made putting him to sleep so hard as he just gets up and stands...it is cute but annoying :|

He is definitely a rug rat now...never staying still and he had his first bump on the head 2 days ago...it was painful but funny smile many more to come.

I have finally taken the information down will be going to the library tomorrow and i am searching ebay now so we are one step closer smile

better go dae is going into the bathroom and daddy is in there doing his stuff ha ah ah grin

talk to you later,
sue

Hi Sue!!

So great to hear from you!! grin Things are going ok with us. Poor Ally is a little sick at the moment.

Nah, I'm sure you've just been a bit busy. Actually, incase you're interested, I found out a few days ago from another Mum that I had recommended Baby Wise to the company that actually distributes them here in Australia. They have their own website and actually retail from there. The link is www.gfi.org.au and they actually have the book on special 'til end of Dec.

I know what you mean about the cute but annoying habits, and you're right, as long as you let this stuff contiue, it will most likely just get worse. I'm sure when you're ready though, that you'll do something about it. I'm just amazed that you're lasting so long, I was so desparate, I just had to read the book as soon as I heard about it. You're pretty amazing if you ask me.

Oh poor thing bumping his head. You must be so excited to see him getting around now. I always think it's so lucky that babies are kind of bouncyand all the knocks and stuff don't hurt them too much for the most part. A few tears and kisses and it's all better. it's goona be pretty important for Dae to know what 'no' means from here on in though. It'll save lots of unnecessary hurts and and things around your house and stuff broken hey??

How did you go at the library??

It's so cute how they follow you around hey?? Alynta goes up to doors and knocks on them if you go through and close it behind you. She has the closed knocking fist and everything.

Anyway, lots to do. Can't wait to hear forom you again. Hope you're doing really well.

Love Shani grin

hey shani,

guess what......???? i did it!!!!! i went and got the book from the library and got a few more helpful books too one called the sleep book and it is very small but informative.

i read the book and funny enough i did know about most of the techniques and facts stated in the book but i never implemented them. I guess reading it one last time and hearing that it is the only other option made me work hard at it. I gave my partner a lecture as to what we are doing and he had to be strong too. dads find it harder to stay strong i have noticed.

anyway we did it the first night...changed his routine again and put him to sleep without a feed. He didn't like not having his milk in the middle of the night but we were strong. He started sleeping through the second night and he had great days where he was active and not so grumpy. yay!!!!
grin he still cries when we put him to sleep but yeah it is getting easier and easier and soon it will be no probs at all.

It was so good getting full nights sleep but now i am bad and staying up late. well its not like i have to wake up anymore ay smile wink

Dae was sick also but we made sure that he was better before we tortured him. He also naps better during the day too when we just leave him to sleep. He just woke up from a 2hr long nap. yay smile

Anyway i am sooooo thankful that you recommended me the book and i don't think i would have been able to keep to it if i didn't read the book. I will keep you updated. Its lunch time so i better go.

Love Sue and Daewon

Hey Sue!!!

That's so fantastic!! Yeah, it's funny isn't it how so much of it seems common sense, but somehow, you just didn't manage to put it all together. I found it also really gave me the confidence plus also, a lot more understanding of stuff, to go right through with it. Yeah, Dad's are wussy. grin Specially if they're like my hubby and sleep through all the waking etc. 8-)

So are you putting him to bed at night without a milk feed, or just all the other times. I haven't got a copy to check in right here, but I'm fairly sure that bedtime at night is the only time they do have a milkfeed before bed (except of course when they're still 'needing' to feed through the night smile )

I know what you mean about staying up late. I'm terrible for the same thing. At least I can't blame the tiredness on Ally anymore though. Plus she's so happy for the most part.

That's so great that his day sleeps are better too. I can imagine the relief you must be feeling. Have you found that on the whole Dae has changed as well?? Much happier? Ally was like a brand new little girl after we changed over. And so much more alert and interested in things. It was fantastic!! Have you tried out the play pen time thing yet?? It took us a while to get around to it, but it's going great now too.

I'm so glad that everything's picked up for you Sue. Sounds like you guys have done an awesome job and should be commended!!

Please do stay in touch, I love to hear how you're going.

I'm thinking of you. Take care,