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my 6 month old won't fall asleep on her own Lock Rss

My name is Narelle and I need some advice on how to get my daughter to fall asleep by herself. She always wants myself or my husband to put her to sleep and we are getting very tired of doing this every night. She also wakes many times during the night and we find it difficult to settle her again if she doesnt want a bottle or a drink. I am at my wits end with this thinking that I will still be doing this when she is a year old!! Please help me!

regards Narelle.

Narelle, VIC, Mum to Monica & Jessica,EDD 24th May

Guess what, you are not alone. My 6 month old likes to be held to sleep, yet I have started to put him in his cot just before he falls to sleep, then I place one hand on his side and the other on his front and pat him gently for a couple of minutes. One trick is to make sure the room has no lights on, that way your little one will have less stimulation, also try not to make eye contact, that way they know you are serious and you are not there for fun and playtime. After a few minutes leave you child to settle then if they are still crying go back in and start again, using same methods mentioned. This usually works for me, but there are times when they can be very stubborn and won't give in... Good luck.

Buzz. Vic. 6mths old

It must be something about this age. Some of my friends reported the same thing... My boy is 5 1/2 months and also is exhibiting this behaviour even though he has always been good at going to sleep previously. My husband & I thought that maybe it is due to him becoming more aware of 'cause and effect' and by becoming a bit more social, they like to be around people, especially mum and dad. We have gone back to "controlled" bedtime and simply pat him while in the bed....we don't pick him up and once he settled leave the room. Sometimes he will 'arc' up again but repeating this procedure a second time usually does the trick. It lets him know we are still there but its sleep time. Hope this helps.


Hi Narelle,

Must be the age. My 5 1/2 month old is the same at the moment, and I just thought it might be teething. I rock my baby until just about asleep then put to bed. Lately she is wingy and cries like in pain - and not necessarily not wanting to go to sleep. Im using bonjela and it is working wonders. Perhaps this is the same issue with you.

Also when I put her to bed, I hold her arms from scratching at her ears and pat her off too.

Good Luck

nance 1st mum 30/01/03

Hey there,

I have a 9 month old son who also went through this. He has only been sleeping through for about 4 weeks now! Same as your daughter, he doesn't like falling asleep on his own. I have found that feeding him until he is just about asleep ( he still likes to be fed - breastfed - to sleep) then I put him down in his bed & pat him for a few minutes. This works most of the time but you do get the odd time when he wakes up & has a bit of a cry. If this happens I wait 15 minutes ( on advice from a child health nurse) & then go back in, lay him back down, saying the same thing each time ( so that he knows that when I say "time for sleepies" its time for bed )& pat him for a few minutes. I lengthen the time till I go in by 5 minutes each time. This worked great for my son & he now goes off 8 times out of 10 by himself & now sleeps through. which when you consider he was waking up every 2-3 hours up till a month ago, its pretty good. P.s - I also have music playing in his room as he is a light sleeper & this takes the emphasis out of the back ground noise - our voices etc etc. Hope this helps.

Nome, QLD, 4yr old girl, 9 mth old boy.

Hi Narelle,

Well my baby boy is only 16 weeks and he wont sleep during the day unless i nurse him! It has become quite hot up here in Qld so i am wondering if he is just finding it too hard to get to sleep on his own with the heat. Ive put a fan in his room to circulate the air, and sometimes that works - but i have had to resort to a fair bit of control crying to get him off to sleep. He also hates to be wrapped now because of the heat during the day, so maybe getting used to that is the problem...?
He is impossible to take out anywhere because he wants to be nursed, or he'll cry! I have left a few places very embarressed at the performance he has put on just because i have left him in the pram rather than picking him up to nurse.
His night time sleep is unaffected though, will go about 10hr at night without a stir, just his day time naps are a problem.
I wonder if introducing solids might help the day time sleeping at home....? Not sure how to tackle the shopping centre and away from home crying episodes though....??
Any advise from others would be appreciated!


Rosie, Qld, 4mth baby boy

Hi jessemon,
My name is joanne courts my son is 5months old and well he doesnt sleep on his own either when he is up during te day and if he is tired well i have to nurse him in my arms for a little bit to get him asleep. And at night i always give him a bath at night then feed him then he falls asleep in my arms but i hold him for about 10 minutes so i know he is asleep.

joanne vic 4mth baby

Hi Narelle,
I had the same problem with my son up until about three weeks ago. All i did was give him a routine every night.His routine consists of a bottle, bath, and bedtime story.He also has a specific bedtime.
We've been doing it every night and he now knows the routine and settles straight away as soon as we put him in his cot. Now he goes to sleep within minutes.
My son never slept through the night until i started with the routine,now he sleeps 10 hours without waking up.
Good luck!
Hi Rosie,

I stopped wrapping my son when he was about 10 weeks old. (just after Easter) He like to be able to move around and would squirm too much to stay asleep. For a little while I would still hold him snugly to put him to bed and keep my hand on him while I tucked him in and then he was fine. Now he just goes to sleep on his own and I don't even bother covering him up. We're in Brissy and it's been very warm here lately and he has less on him than I do. But he prefers that.

I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but when my son wouldn't go to sleep by himself there for a while, I knew something was wrong and it turned out to be chronic colic. We went to the chiro and he puts himself to sleep all the time now.

My son also sleeps for about 10 hours a night and this was never affected. Just the daytime sleeps.

If you feel he is ready to start solids, it can definitely help settle them as their tummy is full and they are not hungry. My son was always hungry, too. Try also giving your baby some water as he could be thirsty and probably is now it's getting hotter. Whenever he gets grizzly, just see if he will take some water. He'll drink what he wants.

Once you sort out the sleeps at home you might find the trips to the shops, etc. will also sort themselves out.

Good luck.

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