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Putting Baby To Bed Rss

Wondering if anyone out there has some tips on teaching baby to go to sleep by themselves. My 8mths old is a very good sleeper once asleep, however I have been letting her fall asleep on the breast and now I want to be able to put her to bed awake and get her to fall asleep by herself.
Any ideas would be welcomed.

Tanya, NSW, 2 Girls Alyssa & Danielle

Hi Tanya, I'm no expert as my dd is only 4 months old. Have you tried putting her in the cot awake? How does she react? She doesn't have to be fully awake when you put her in, just aware of what is happening. Have you tried controlled comforting or just sitting with her and patting her gently?

As soon as I see sleepy signals from my dd - rubbing eyes, yawning, getting grumpy - I just scoop her up and head straight for the cot. She knows what's going on and falls asleep shortly after she's in. I've been doing this for a couple of months now and it works for us, but my dd loves being in her cot and I've never really had any trouble putting her in.....

good luck. smiles, kath

mama to Ruby, born in March 2003

Tanya....I have your problem too, and have tried waiting till Sophie is asleep and then putting her down, but then within 10 mins she is crying and awake again. Got any suggestions for that? I'd love to hear them
hi Tanya,

i'm also no expert, i have a 5 1/2 mth old son and during the day he's fine and will go to sleep no problems, but as soon as nite comes and he hits his cot, he's awake and crying. This only started after i stopped breatfeeding as i to let him fall asleep on the breast.

The last week i've been trying to put him down half asleep and (try) letting him cry a little before picking him up again. Although its very hard to hear him cry but i think to myself it'll be better in the long run. And its best he learns to go to sleep on his own, i just hope it works. Maybe u could try that. But i suppose every baby is different

good luck with every thing
Amy
Hi Amy and Tanya

I have a 2 year old and a 5month old, who I have taught to sleep on their own.

Stick at it Amy, it is definately worth it. I started from day one with my two children and they sleep very well now.

The older the child the longer it takes to break a bad habit. I have a book which says that an under 3 month old takes approximately 3 days to break a habit so stick at it your babies will soon learn.

I guess in their world they associate the breast with sleep so in a way it is like weaning a dummy, which I did when both my kids were 4 months old. That took about 1 week or so for them to get use to sleeping without it.

Something a baby nurse told me when I was teaching my first son to sleep was not to pick him up when he cried unless I could not settle him any other way, because he would then work out that if he wanted to be picked up he would just have to cry and eventually I would pick him up. Instead she said to settle him by patting his back or talking to him.

I hope this helps in some way. Good Luck and don't give up, you will soon be reaping the rewards.

Julie
hi Tanya
My daughter is 6 1/2 months old and i have the same problem she wouldnt sleep unless i put her to sleep. Ive tried all sorts of things. The latest thing ive tried is puting her in bed and then walking out. (This sounds bad to do and its not very nice at first). The first few times she just cried for ages before she went to sleep and this made me feel a bit awful. But i thought i would be persistant. Now when i put her to bed i give her a kiss, tell her i love her and walk out. Today has been a succes because i put her to bed walked out. She cried for about 2 mins i went back in, quitetly to check on her and she was alseep. At first trying this method really made me feel like a bad mother but im grateful that she now can get herself to sleep. I think the initial few times that u do it is horrible but it worked for me and my daughter in the end.
Linda

Linda, NSW, mum of Olivia (b) 03.01.03

Thankyou to all who gave me advice on putting Alyssa to sleep. She is now 9mths old and goes down to bed fully awake. I put the radio on in her room, close the blinds, put her into bed, wind up the mobile, give her a kiss and say night night and walk out of the room closing the door. She listen to the mobile and after that falls asleep, no crying!!!!!!
Mind you it did take about a week to acomplish this, I perfected the day sleeps and then included the night. It is really hard to listen to your child cry but what I found was it was just her crying out for attention more than her being scared or upset. I found the radio good because she had some background noise instead of absolute silence which also made it easier for me to carry on with life outside her room.

Once again thankyou

Tanya

Tanya, NSW, 2 Girls Alyssa & Danielle

Hi Alycat. I realise I am late in replying to you, and by now your problem may be fixed, but I thought I would share my strategy with you. I have a 5 month old daughter who sleeps 12-14 hours per night, every night. She started this from 7 weeks old (after a chronic case of colic which was a nightmare) and so far so good. She also has 3 sleeps during the day anywhere from 1-3 hours. Once she established day time from night time, I made it very clear to her that I was not going to put up with any nonesense at night, and established a bed time routine. At 5pm she has her vegies, then come 6pm it's into her pj's and then we have a bottle, a cuddle and I put her into her cot (she is awake), turn on her lullaby give her a kiss, shut the door and walk out. To this day, it works for me like a charm and I'm hoping my good fortune will continue. PS my daughter did not take to a dummy, she hated it, she has her thumb!!!

Marni, QLD

Hi Julie & everyone

It seems that the way to get them to sleep, it to stick it out. I have only just started to not run in the room everytime my son, Nicholas, 5 months, crys etc, but I do find it hard when his crying for his mum or dad and is so used to having them there and now they are not.
I guess I should be persistent and it will work out in the end.
I am also going to begin weaning him off his dummy a he seems to be so dependant on it to fall asleep and to even stay asleep it has to be in his mouth.
I can just imagine how hard this will be........

BUt - I will keep trying as all you guys seem to have had success, so I'm sure I will to.

Jackie

Jackie, Nicholas 5.5yrs, Annaliese, 4 yrs

you sound like you have some experience Julie.
My name is Karen and I am TRYing to teach my 41/2 month old to fall asleep on her own and it just isn't working. Can you help me?? any advice would be great. I have a post called 'any alternatives to crying it out' this should explain where I'm coming from, Ive been fairly consistant for 3 weeks now and she still cries for around an hour and then I pick her up, and she still cries because she is so tired please help.
thanks karen

Karen,WA,Emily born 4th June

Hi Emily's mum!

Controlled crying (which is basically letting your baby cry themselves to sleep) doesn't work on babies that are younger than 6 months. There are a couple of reasons - one of which is the idea of object permanancy. Babies under around 6 months aren't terribly sure that if you leave the room you ARE coming back - so they get all distraught!

Okay - here's the sleep strategy that I've read about.

Put your baby in her cot - tuck her in, kiss her goodnight and leave the room (or stay - its your choice, but I found leaving easier). When your baby starts crying, leave it for about 30 secs and then walk into the room and roll your baby onto their side (preferably facing away from you). (I am naughty - I put her on her tummy) Then do things like patting them on the hip or back. You can try rocking them backward and forward, singing, humming, stroking your baby (although I found the last one to be the WORST thing I could possibly do! smile ) Some people find that just holding your baby firmly on the shoulders and hip is the best thing to do

Use one of these strategies until she stops crying or relaxes. If the strategy you're using doesn't work in 5 mins - use another. Keep persisting for 20 mins (or as long as you can take it! Try not to give in!!!) After twenty minutes you and your baby have had enough and get her out of bed, give her a cuddle and wait for a little while before putting her to bed. (please note this time frame changes after 6 months). As you've noticed, leaving your baby for more than 20 mins makes them worse!

Its a really hard thing to do but totally worth it when you can just put your baby in bed and she goes to sleep with minimum fuss!

If it doesn't get any better after two weeks - GO and get help from a daystay clinic or a overnight place! We all need sleep and we all need some help with this!

Okay - I hope this helps. This is all stuff I've read in books and got information from sleep clinics and so on. I just wanted to say that I'm not an authority on the issue - but found that this has worked with my little girl and this method is advocated by the health services in my local area.

Good luck! And remember you're not alone!

Hannah (3 yrs) and Harry's (born 22/7) Mum! QLD

THANKYOU sooooooo much Cannasalmon/Hannah what you say makes sense and I will try this strategy asap. Can I ask another question?, what do you do to get your baby to nap for an hour or more in the Day? Em sleeps 40mins and wakes up grizzly and I cant resettle her! Should I just do what you have said previously or do you have other ideas--especially when Im going out!!
I think Im becoming obsessed with the whole sleep issue!!
Thanks again
karen

Karen,WA,Emily born 4th June

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