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Pick up, Put down method for sleeping Lock Rss

Has anyone tried the pick up, put down method for putting baby to sleep?
I have heard it is a lot better than the controlled crying technique as baby does not cry as much. I have a 6 month old baby boy and am currently doing a mixture of both the controlled crying and pick up, put down methods. It seems to be working.. I have only started today..
It was hard to hear my boy crying for 2 hours but he eventually put himself to sleep without me rocking him! And he slept for 3 hours today.. the longest he had ever slept for during the day was 40 minutes! I did it again tonight.. I did controlled crying.. he cried for 2 hours, then I did pick up, put down and he fell asleep.. he is still asleep now.. 4 hours later...

Brodie's mama, NT

Hi Toni,

Today is the second day and I decided not to let him cry it out.. instead I rock him till he is almost asleep, then put him down. He wakes up instantly, but I rub his face and he settles and when he is almost asleep again, I stop and he goes to sleep himself.. I will keep this method up and see how he goes..
I know you say it is cruel to let a baby cry it out, but when you have a baby that just refuses to sleep or doesnt know how.. you will try anything.
My baby goes to sleep easily but doesnt STAY asleep.. you are lucky to have a baby that stays asleep once she nods off.

Brodie's mama, NT

Hi Tammy

I used a technique called comfort settling for my son - it is recommended by Karitane, a sleep clinic. Basically you put your baby to bed awake after they start showing 'tired signs'. If after you leave the room they start to cry, go back in and pat them, sing whatever it takes to calm them and try again. They recommend not leaving babies to cry for more than a couple of minutes, shorter if you're not comfortable with it - which I wasn't. Continue this pattern for 30 mins and if they are still crying you can pick them up to comfort and try again. If it is nearing time for a feed go and feed your baby and try again at the next sleep time. It can take 3 or four days for your baby to learn to fall asleep by himself - but they do eventually learn - and without much crying. They have a website with all the info, let me know if you would like it. Our child health nurse also told our mothers group that controlled crying wasn't really recommended anymore, especially for babies under 12 months. They really need reassurance and security. The more secure they feel at a young age the more independant they wil be later. But every baby and parent is different and you know what's best for you and your baby. I hope you find something that works for you.

All the best
Hi Toni

Thanks so much for your reply, I sometimes think I'm the only one who doesn't really agree with "routines". I agree that we need to be flexible with our babies, I really don't think they are capable of thinking "If I cry mummy or daddy will come and pick me up" especially as newborns. I'm really lucky to have a really supportive nurse at our clinic, all I'd ever heard from family and friends was "controlled crying blah blah blah..." "routine, they should only be fed 4 hourly etc etc." When my son was feeding every hour I thought I must be doing something wrong, or everyone said your milk is no good or you don't have enough. The nurse reassured me that the way he was feeding is totally normal and that it is unrealistic to feed a baby only every 4 hours. She isn't one of those 'dragons' you hear about I think she is into a lot of natural therapies, she gave me an article to read on 'Attachment Parenting' - basically being there for your baby and listening to their needs. She was the first person to explain how damaging controlled crying could be - I know everyone doesn't agree with this -but it never sat right with me. She also said that especially during the first 12 months our babies are building trust in us and so it is really important that they don't feel abandoned. It all made perfect sense to me. I know everyone has their own opinions and ways of doing things, but I think forcing babies into routines can make 10 times more work and does not always keep the best interests of the baby as the most important thing. My son has just developed his own routine, however it seems to change every couple of months, obviously as he gets older he needs less sleep. The only thing I stick to is having him in bed by 7pm - which he initially started doing on his own anyway - as I need those couple of hours of a night to unwind. I think if more parents took a more flexible approach they and their babies would be a lot more relaxed. At the same time parents still need to look after themselves, but you need to expect that your life is going to change dramatically when a baby arrives. They grow up so fast - isn't it better to enjoy your baby than spend 12 months fighting to keep them in a routine that is only temporary anyway? Anyhow those are just some of my thoughts. Thanks again for sharing yours Toni.


I was just wondering if someone could please explain exactly what the pick up, put down method is (sorry if it is posted somewhere else in the forum, I am new here!!). My son is 4 months and only has 3-4 45 minute sleeps a day, then can't go to sleep at night coz he's so overtired!! I can't (and won't) do control crying at this age (I did with my daughter (now 3) - successfully, but not until much later), but I have ended up rocking him to sleep every night, even though I know it's creating a bad pattern, as I can't get him to sleep any other way!! Any advice would be appreciated.


Danielle, Vic, Mum of 3

Hi Danielle,

I saw it on a TV show with Tracy Hogg who is known as the Baby Whisperer.

Tracy’s Pick Up Put Down method for babies under three months

"Start by winding down gently to naptime. Sit somewhere quiet and dark with your baby for a few minutes before lying him down.

When he starts to cry, pick him up and calm him down completely before you lay him back down. When he cries again pick him up, and reassure him. Up to the age of three months, you can pat him on the back, and say ‘shh-shh’, because a child under 3 months cannot hold three thoughts in their mind. So if he is being patted and listening to the ‘shhh’, he cannot focus on crying as well.

The other thing to remember is that under the age of three months, they have no control over their arms or legs. So the other thing to do is to swaddle him. I would suggest doing that before laying him down.

Put him back in the cot but continue to pat and ‘shhh’ for at least 7-10 minutes after he has calmed down. Don’t stop the minute he is quiet, keep going but gradually slow down the patting and make the ‘shhh’ quieter. It may take you twenty minutes of pu/pd before you get him to sleep. "

I am doing this with my son and it is slowly working.. the trick is to do it every time he goes to sleep including when he wakes in the middle of the night which is hard... but stick to it.. it is better than leaving baby to cry it out I reckon.

Good Luck!

Brodie's mama, NT

I too saw this programe and am going to give it a try.
At the moment my 5 1/2 month old wakes all night long and i feed her back to sleep.
The tv show said that when the mum is the one currently settling baby by feeding, when starting new method it is good that partner does the settling so not to break the bond between mum and baby.
I was shocked to read some of the posts on this subject as i was under the belief that every member was to respect others ideas and thoughts with out rudness. every baby and mum are diffrent.
I know with my little one she use to go off to sleep herself and sleep through the night at 12 weeks but now does not . Often I know she is tied but the older she gets the more there is to learn and explore and she doesn't want to stop.
Good luck to everyone what ever method they try
Hello fellow mums,

I am feeling so relieved reading all your entries, I decided on my own a few months ago to do the pick up put down method with my 6 month old Georgia. Georgia more lead me to it for I tried comfort crying for one night and she was so hysterical I could not to that to her again. She is only a little baby and has never been left on her own like that before. I heard it can take up to 3 weeks of controlled crying before babies learn to sleep themselves and I really do not think they should have to endure that much upset,

I sit on the lounge and lie Georgia across my lap and let her play with a toy till she nods off, she wakes as I put her in her cot but settles herself again.
This works really well for me and neither of us get upset, Georgia actually cried out during the night of the controlled crying episode for I think she did not want to be alone. It scared her that much from just one night of leaving her to cry (was only a minute at most but she had never been left to cry before)
Thankyou for your posts, it is wonderful that there are other people out there that agree that controlled crying is not always the way to go.
Hi Toni

I don't know how wise I am tongue . I'm one of those people who loves routine and predictability, but when Lachlan was born that all went out the window!!! He's taught me a lot - I think he's pretty wise only being a baby and making me more flexible. I agree with you about people who try to control others, how happy can they really be deep down knowing that people only do what they say out of fear? My husband and I have a lot of controlling people in both our families and I'm determined to do all I can to make sure Lachlan has enough self confidence to live his life the way he sees fit - as long as he's not hurting anyone. Thanks for you kind and encouraging words.

All the best
Hi ggholly03

I'm so glad you've found your own way of settling your daughter without controlled crying. There's no point in both of you being stressed, who can sleep when they're hysterical? Keep following your instincts, sounds as though you are doing really well.

All the best
Hi Tammy,

THANK YOU!!! Finally some actual practical advice as well as all the opinions.
I live Outside of Australia and so have no family support or 'sleep clinics' available. I am loathe to try controlled crying but am physically falling apart as a result of an 8 month-old who only feeds off to sleep.
I am ready to wean and feel it will be a big help but I know it won't be the whole battle. My husband is away 4 nights a week and I have a back problem so can't pick the baby up. Fortunately we have staff to help but there's no substitute for Mummy right? Anyhow- I was wondering if you had any more tips about your method, especially for older babies. Is there a website? Thanks for your contribution, hope its all going well for you.
Hi Nicola,

I havent found a website regarding the pick-up, put down method as yet. I saw it on a TV show.. The Baby WHisperer, as she is known, says the trick is not to give in... it may take 2 hours for baby to go to sleep but keep at it and baby will eventually begin to go to sleep faster each time..

When I first did it, my boy cried and cried and I must have picked him up and put him down about 40 times.. he finally went to sleep (1hr 40mins later) without me holding him.. I never left the side of the cot though and he was a lot better as he was aware that I was there and didnt feel that I was going to leave him.

The next time I did it, he went to sleep in about 1 hour, then next time it was 20 mins.. he is 6 months old now and goes to sleep himself within 5 to 10 minutes of me putting him in his cot.. I stay with him till he goes to sleep but dont touch him unless he whimpers or starts to cry, then I just stroke his face and he feels reassured that I am there..

It is so easy to just give up after 1/2 hour of baby crying and say ok and pick him up and rock him but Tracy(the baby whisperer) said dont give in.. it will pay off in the long run..and it has..

Your baby is older so it should be a bit easier as the older the babies are the quicker they learn.

If it doesnt work for you, and you cant carry your baby becuase of your back but you have to.. try using a 'hug-a-bub'. They are fantastic..endorsed by chiropractors. I have some for sale on ebay if you want to check it out..

Good Luck!

Brodie's mama, NT

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