Anxiety and Parenting

Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with anxiety while trying to be a good mum? I have had awful trouble, even breaking down and crying at times when things get too much. It's not the baby's fault, and i feel bad because i'm not being the kind of mum to her that she deserves. She doesn't have a dad so i am trying to be both, and there are some things that seem a bit much to handle sometimes. Any suggestion? Anyone been there before?

Look your a good mum its hard work looking after a baby espically on your own, your baby will love u no matter what, things will get betta ive been an single mum 4 10 n a half months n i love it, it gets easier trust me

Hi JadeH,
after my first was born i also suffered anxiety - to the point where i would panic every time she woke up from her sleeps. It turns out I may have been suffering PND back then and it went undiagnosed by my doctor and the maternal/health nurse.
Now I have another baby and was more aware of what was happening and did something about it.

There are some good support groups out there, try to contact them, I went to my GP and she was very helpful just letting me talking about how i was feeling.

It does get easier as baby gets older. If bubs is happy/healthy then you are a great mum.
keep up the good work.

Hi Jade
I have 4 1/2 mth old boy and had a C section and couldnt breastfeed, I would cry all the time and just couldnt bond with him, i went to my chiro who does kinesology and he adv me i had PND and subscribed me some natural stuff that has helped me heaps.Previously i wouldnt even bathe my son i was so nervous i didnt want to do anything for him, I would get my husband to do it and i felt this baby has taken away my independence. But now after being diagnosed with PND and taking the supplements im alot better and wouldnt trade him in for the world. Good Luck, it always helps to talk to others

I am also a single mum and find that I feel incredibly guilty everytime I leave my sons side. He has only just gone into his own room and I still sleep in there in the spare bed 3 nites out of seven. I have just started working two days a week for four hours and although this is necessary, I still stress. I worry I'm going to lose him in some way.

I think it has a lot to do with what I went through while pregnant, which is when I left his father and copped all sorts of abuse. I freak out that my son doesn't love me and that I am not good enough for him.

However I am lucky to have a great mum and dad who constantly reassure me and who give him a cuddle on the days when he and I are both stressed and feeding off each others emotions.

I am slowly getting better. I don't have many solutions. But I keep a journal that I write to my son. I also get a lot of support off my mum. If you are close to your mum or even an aunt or nanna, use them. That's the way society used to be and I think it was for these very reasons. You are not alone.

There is also a fantastic group called the National Council of Single Mothers. They have a website:
www.ncsmc.org.au, or it could be .com, i can never remember. Good luck and chin up.

Hi Jade. I have a 5 month boy and I too had had alot of anxiety at first and didnt cope well. I had knots in my stomach and felt teary and trapped with the baby. I felt I wasnt in control of the situation. I felt like the baby was controling me. So I took control and if he starts crying I put him to bed and let him cry he will fall asleep anyway. If I'm cooking dinner and he's crying I'll give him a dummy. The dummy is very helpful and I had alot of anxiety about using it but if used sensibly they are great and If they spit it out it will mean either they are hungry or poos or tummy ache. If tummy ache I give gripe water, problem solved. I try to make make the job as easy for myself as possible. Now after 5 months I know my job pretty well and this gives me a sense of control. Like with any new job you are in unchartered territory and it takes time till you are comfortable with it, so I really feel for all new mothers. Are you in a routine with Hannah? Are you getting out for a walk or a drive. Are you close to friends or family that can maybe look after Hannah. All these things are important. Talking to someone about how you feel helps. People say it gets easier and it does. I really hope you feel better soon. Let us know how you are going.

Hi Jade,

I am not a single mum, but I can tell you I have a whole new respect for mums that are solo. Just remember that Hannah does not need you to be both mum and dad, she just needs you to be happy and healthy, just like her. I have twins and I remember reading one mothers perspective. She said that when both her twins cried so did she. I can relate to this as I do this as well. Anyway a good cry can be quite a good stress relief. It sounds like you are doing a great job. There are some great pieces of advice on the parents exchange, keep asking if it helps.

where did you get Ezrah from. tell me about it please.

kodeybear@hotmail.com

email and msn chat addy

Thank you all so much for the responses. It isn't PND, but i did go see a GP about it. It's just with all kinds of things hitting me all at once, i turned to alcohol for a while, and don't want to do that now with Hannah needing a Mum that's sober. Hannah and I are in a very good routine, she sleeps through the night, has done since 8 weeks old, and I couldn't ask for a better baby. I love her to pieces and want to do good by her. I don't agree with dummies being used unless there's a really good reason, like if the baby cries all the time and nothing else will settle baby. I just feel run down at the moment, but finding out my ex is getting married and expecting a baby next month has just got me frazzled! You have all been great help, and thanks so much. My email address is jadehodzik@hotmail.com and i'm also on msn