I think what you described is fairly standard for a lot of mummies. I can see myself kind of coming out of the desparate housewife senario you described Mimmy. There is a few courses around for first time parents, on how to re-connect now there is 'three' in the relationship. I think the most important thing is to acknowledge that its different, that you may not be happy etc. That is a huge step and a lot harder than just ignouring or hoping it will go away. I remember being told that it takes a year to get over having a baby, both physically and mentally. Although we'll never be the same as we were before of course - lol. I suppose my suggestion is not to be too self critica. You deserve some attention and especially need extra support. Not only are you sleep deprived, looking after your little one 24/7 - but your hormones are out of control.
I think most blokes response is 'get a hobby' - they aren't as complicated as us chickies - lol. I know I need to rekindle my relationship with DH. It was put to me by my CHN to look at it as if you are starting over. Like that whole dating stage, going out on a date, holding hands, snuggling etc. I'm not sure if that helps any, for you I mean.
DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months