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Starting Day Care Jitters HELP!!! Rss

Hi,

I have a 10month boy and we have been told to start day care as this will help him to interact with others and not be so bad when he isnt with me.

He has bad seperation and i have never left him with anyone before.

I want to start but I am scared at the same time too.

Is 10 months to young.. Am I a mean mum for wanting to put him in day care for 1 day?

How do I over come my fear of leaving him in some one elses care????

Any help/reasurence would be great...

Tan

Tan,QLD,Connor 2, Mackayla 2wks old

Hi tanya
My little man will be 1 next month & starting daycare.I still have'nt left him during the day with anyone except hubby.
I don't know how i will cope either.So you aren't the only one.You can e-mail me at countrygirl0374@hotmail.com
Take care
Hi Tanya and Casper

I know what you're going through! #1 started at 3 months (I returned to work 2 days a week) and the week before he started I wasn't able to sleep if he woke me for a feed. I'd be sitting there, holding him in my arms thinking “I just can't!" I was a nervous wreck the first two weeks, but crèche is right around the corner from work so I made sure they knew they could call me at anytime. He is now 19 mths and runs to the door when it's time to go to "school"! He loves the girls who care for him and has only cried once when I’ve dropped him off.

His little brother started on Monday. He too is 3 months old and although I wasn't as bad I still suffered a little separation anxiety myself!

Before I start, I'll just say that I'm a primary school teacher and teach Prep. The sooner you get them into a social, learning environment the better. Separation anxiety is still very upsetting for a 5 year old who hasn't had to deal with social settings away from Mum or Dad.

Here are the things we do/ encourage:

If you're really concerned start with half days. (You may even be able to stay with them for the entire time the first visit so you can help them acclimatise.)

Although they may get a little upset when you leave the workers are generally fantastic at refocusing their attention and cheering them up.

Don't stretch out your departure or make a big deal about your leaving them there. If you seem fine with it all, they may follow your queue. Drop them off; give them a kiss and leave.

If you're still concerned, turn up a little early and watch them without them seeing you. My husband and I do this sometimes just to see how Xander interacts with the other children. We've even video taped it because he plays so beautifully.

Don’t forget, you can always call to check up on them. The employees are used to us being emotional wrecks for the first few weeks!

Hope this has helped a little. Even tough I deal with it at the beginning of each year as a teacher, it didn't help me to cope as a parent! Good luck.

Dette, DS 06.03, DS 10.04, DD 03.06 & Due Sept 07!

My eldest started day care 5 days a week at 10 months as I had to return to work. She was very happy and settled there, and enjoyed going each day - sometimes she would tell me she was too busy to come home at the end of the day. When she was 2 we dropped back to 1 day per week, as I went on maternity leave with my second. She was a little bit more reluctant to go, as it was not quite as familiar to her, but would settle after the first 1/2 hour or so, and enjoy her time there. My 1 year old started a few days ago. I've found it works best if you just say a quick goodbye, with a quick hug and kiss, tell them to enjoy their day and let them know you will be back - and then leave - ignoring any crying or calling for you - as hard as that may be. If they see that by crying or calling for you, you will stay, they will keep doing it, and also as long as you are there they will not be interested in letting the staff settle them. If you are not there, the staff will be able to settle them a lot easier. If you hesitate about leaving, they will see that, and know that you are not comfortable with leaving them there, so they will then think that there is something wrong, and be more unhappy with being left. If they see that you are happy and secure with leaving them, they will feel more secure. If you are concerned, phone after about 1 hour and ask the staff what they are doing - generally they will be playing happily by this time - don't go back or let them see you after you have left, or this will just start the separation all over again.
It can be very hard to do, and I will admit to crying myself on occasion after leaving them - I think the girls get over it quicker than I do.
I hope this helps. Good luck.

mum to 2 girls

Hi

My almost 8 month old son started daycare on thurs last week (for 2 days) as I started full time work on the Mon. I must admit that yes at first I was uncomfortable but I just tried to be strong didn't cry but I am now having the problem that he cried almost all day long on and off, the slightest loud noise sets him off, then if another child is crying he too begins to cry too. He seems so sensitive I wish that I could somehow make things better for him because I know that he would love it once he got over this... Can anyone help with any other tips! PLEASE!!! How long will it take before he settles????

Thank you

Sonya, NSW, My 1st little munchkin Brendan 9/6/04

Hi Sonya

I know how upsetting it is thinking of your son being upset all day. Maybe you could ask the centre workers to give him a little TLC for the first week or so, just to help him settle in.

I was worried about the noise at creche so make sure there is always noise around the house. I have ther radio on in the boys rooms during their daytime sleeps, the washing machine going, vacuum, dishwasher etc. They don't seem to notice anything anymore. Could be worth a try

I hope things get better for you both!

Dette, DS 06.03, DS 10.04, DD 03.06 & Due Sept 07!

We started out twins just after they turned one (they are now 13 months). We introduced them slowly to the centre before they were booked in to start. We would go there and stay for an hour or two (didn't have to pay). The second time we went to day care I left the room for five or ten minutes. True to form my girls got upset. I was jsut outside the door but I heard the staff soothe them and try to distract them which was great. When I returned they cried but this is normal.

I teach high school one day a week now and by the time i returned to work the girls had spent their first whole day at day care. They go twice a week (my much needed break) and they really enjoy it. Sometimes they are upset when they are left but they get over it quickly. They love seeing the other kids and sitting around the table having lunch and snacks. Apparently it can take a couple of months for a child to settle. It's important for a child to learn that he can trust other adults. Good luck.

twins

Hi
I am an early childhood teacher and my 5mnth old comes to work with me every day. Even though he is in the same building with me , I still have trouble letting him go to his carer in the morning. I think every mother has the same problem. The best tip I could offer you is that as long as ur confident that you are sending your child to a good environment that you are happy with then the best bet is to make the break and keep reassuring yourself that they will be fine. It will probably be the best thing you can do for yourself once you get used of leaving your child.
I feel so much better after reading these posts...there was a post previously "staying at home with bubs" and alot of them didnt like the idea of child care and reading them made me feel bad.

My son is 6 mnths at the moment and Im thinking of putting him in for a about 3 days when he is 1 years old.

He sometimes goes hysterical infront of strangers and I was advised too by professionals, to let him interact socially more at an earlier age as this will help him

8 month old

Hi Everyone,

I am so sorry for not replying for sucjh a long time...

Just an update...

Well it has now been 1 and 1/2 months since we started daycare and we arent doing too bad..

Connor still get quiet upset at the start and then he will settle...

He is slowly getting use to other children but he is now clinging to his carerr... Which is great that he feels comfort with her but this dosent help him with the socialising...

I normally leave him for 4 hrs. Which I think is long enough and this allows me time to get office work done and other choirs so that I have more time to spend with Connor when we get home..

Today he went to day care and he never even cried so that was great to see...

I was looked upon badly for starting him in day care but then on the same token my family and friends were getting upset because he wouldnt go to them and still wont... SO what do you do??

I am finding that I am refreshed after our time apart and think that it is a great thing for him so I am not going to worry what other people think as they have diffrent situations to me and Connor..

I say you do what you think will help you and your family the most... Its great to get advise but you decide what you take on..

Any how Connor turns the Big 1 on the 24th and we cant wait...

He has grown up so much....

Take care of yourselves and your little cherubs and I will chat again soon.

Tan and Connor

Tan,QLD,Connor 2, Mackayla 2wks old

Thats great Tanya things are looking better for you

Your child is just going through stranger awareness

He must be a smarty to know whats going on so much ...ha ha

8 month old

most daycare centres reccommend parents staying with the child for the first few days and then easing back to a couple of hours or even half an hour until the child gets used to being in that situation. it also puts your mind at ease about what happens in that situation and you get to know the people who are going to be a carer for your child. besides its lots of fun for the parents as well.

alyssa 28.2 taylah 2.11 lachlan 11.9

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