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Sick of the Breastfeeding Push Rss

I am sick and tired of the push on breastfeeding!!!

I understand that reasearch has been done that tells us that breast milk is best for babies and thats great, but what makes me angry is the guilt that is layed mothers who chose not to, or who cannot breasfeed for what ever reason.

Some women physically cannot breastfeed for medical reasons and some women (like myself) found it an extremely stressful and unenjoyable experience for a range of different reasons.

I decided to put my son on the bottle when he was 5 weeks old as I found breastfeeding very stressful. He was a very hungry baby who would constantly feed and never felt satisfied with what I was giving him. I tried ringing various support agencies for advice and was made to feel guilty and like a bad mother for even considering wanting to put him on the bottle. They were no help to me! I began to feel resentful toward him for wanting to feed and could never relax while he was attached. I came to realise that this wasn't fair on myself and certainly wasn't fair on my son. I made the decision to put him on the bottle with his very best interests at heart and since then he has thrived. As for bonding, we have bonded better since being on the bottle as I don't feel the stress and resentment that I felt while trying to breastfeed.

If you can breastfeed and feel comfortable doing it then thats great, go for it! But the women who don't breastfeed their children need support too. We very rarely see articles that include info about bottle fed babies, it's main concentation is on breastfed babies and thats not fair to the rest of us.

Let me be clear that I am not against brestfeeding in any way, I am just against mothers who are made to feel guilty for choosing not to do it.

I'd be interested to know anyone elses view on this topic and would like to hear from other mothers who have chosen not to breastfeed and have been given a hard time for it.

Regards
Dayna

Mum to Aiden John (born - 1st September 2003)

Hi Dayna,

I am hearing you. I had twins in August 2003. I tried to breastfeed, not successfully though and quite frankly did not persist with it because after recovering from a c-section and the reality of twins hitting me, I just did not want to. So my boys were put on the bottle at 2 days old and are thriving. It was ironic because people felt justifed in telling me it was OK not to breastfeed because I had twins as it was going to be too hard. So to them that was the reason I did not do it rather than just my choice. If I wanted to breastfeed then I would have persisted, but it was my choice not to and I don't regret it. My husband has bonded with both our sons because he would feed them as much as I did. It also gave me some much needed rest when others helped with the feed. I, like you, am not anti breastfeeding at all, and maybe if I have another baby may persist at it a bit longer. Sounds like you are doing a great job with your son.

Victoria ~ 3yr old beautiful twin boys

Thanks Dayna for writing such a great article! I agree with everthing you have said

I had planned to breastfeed both my children but soon became very disappointed when I couldn't! My first born wouldn't take to the breast no matter how hard I tried and my second took extremely well but for some unknown reason my milk dried up! Nurses I asked for help just kept saying I wasn't trying hard enough or I had to stick it out a bit longer......how could I, my first had lost about 600gm (literally starving to death) and I tried the whole expressing to build up my milk but nothing worked!!

I think breatfeeding is great too but I feel it is being pushed out of control!

I ended up with PND for ages with my first and then for a short time with my second! I think if this pushing for breastfeeding was eased then a lot of women wouldn't end up with PND!

I am sick of feeling like a failure for not breastfeeding....I mean we are feeding our children so leave us alone please! We support breastfeeding mum's who feed in public so please support us mum's who formula feed!

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

Hi Dayna,
I have 3 kids, the eldest also named Aiden. I was fortunate to be able to breastfeed all 3, although I was expecting not to be able to, as my mum, aunty, grandmother and other female reations could not. My mother was also made to feel guilty when she put my sister and me on the bottle. We were starving, as my mothers milk had not enough vitamins in it for us. There is nothing wrong with me or my sisters and brother, and I agree with everything you say. As long as a baby is being fed, and is happy and healthy, who cares what sort of milk it is drinking. Just tell the people who critize you to get a life.
Tracey

Mother of 3, Qld

Dayna
I had two very different experiences. My daughter didn't want to breastfeed at all. She just wasn't attaching properly. So when recovering from a c/section i had to deal with this baby that just didn't want to feed. In the end, I got sick of my boob being manhandled into her mouth all to no avail. I ended up expressing milk for her and giving it to her via the bottle. I felt so guilty for a while about this, but luckily had a very supportive partner, who basically said that as long as bub was getting fed and putting on weight, that was the most important thing (well as well as saving my sanity).

My second was a completely different story. I was expecting another B/F battle. However my son just latched right on there and never looked back (I think it must be a boy thing...LOL). Overall, just do what feels right to you - your baby will benefit from having a very relaxed mum rather than one that is completely stressed out.
All the best
Regards
Julia

j

I know exactly how you feel. I was determined to breast feed but my daughter never attached properly and I was in total agony with bleeding and infected breasts. Also my milk never came through properly so my poor daughter was starving. She had to be readmitted to hospital when she was 48 hours old because she was dehydrated from lack of fluids! Despite all this, the nurses kept pushing me to breastfeed. I was so stressed and overwrought. After two weeks I decided that my sanity and my child's health were more important and I started using forumula. Since that time my daughter has thrived. I felt guilty for a long time though until a paediatrician reassured me that today's formula is almost an exact replica of breast milk. I agree that it is great if you can breastfeed but health professionals need to be a bit more sympathetic to those of us who aren't able to do it.
Hi my name is Emily, I put my son onto a bottle at 3 weeks but it was just to supplement. From 4 o'clock onwards he was feeding non-stop for 3 hours most days! By 5 months he was having 4 bottles a day and now at 6 mths I have weaned him.
I agree that mothers are made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding but I think we feel (or I did) more guilty knowing we are not able to give our child enough milk or nutrients to enable them to grow! Before I weaned my son it was so difficult to get him to breastfeed, as he got frustrated because there wasn't enough for him - hence I was stressed too. It wasn't enjoyable for us anymore.
Has anyone else had this problem??

Em Tmba - mum to Liam 31/7/03 & Callum 7/5/05

Thanks for all your posts guys I really appreciate it.

The other thing that I forgot to mention and that has also made me really angry, is the new research apparently done that has found that children that are breastfed are more intelligent than children who are formula fed.

This is the ultimate guilt trip!!! Are they trying to tell me now that if I chose not to breastfeed my child that he will be stupid and unintelligent. How ridiculous!!! My sons intelligence will be based on the stimulation he recieves as a baby and child and the loving family environment that I intend to raise him in, not by what he eats!!!

Mum to Aiden John (born - 1st September 2003)

Hi Danya,

I know exactly where you are coming from. I was having trouble with my daughter Mackenzie from the first minute. I could not get her to attach properly and with each different change in shift in hospital came a different theory from the nurses. They would not let me try anything else, I had no knowledge of bottle feeding or anything. It got to the point one night where my baby would not stop crying and the way the nurse was dealing with Mackenzie and I, I ended up in tears as well. My husband was there and he just let her have it. I dont agree that he handled it all that well but at the time we had just been through labor and also were getting used to the idea of being parents and anyhow you know all the feelings that you have when you are a new parent.

Upon visiting the clinic sister, all I got was how to keep breastfeeding, dont worry about the bleeding nipples bla bla bla. My husband got to the point of frustration one evening and just went and bought a tin of formula and since then Mackenzie has absolutely thrived. I started her on solids at 4 months even though everyone said wait until 6 months but I just went with how I felt this time and also some advice from friends that I trusted an awful lot more than those clinic sisters. I dont even bother going to get Mackenzie weighed anymore, I can tell she is healthy and happy and putting on weight. I would not bother going in the first place with my next baby.

Just do what feels right for you, you are the best judge for you baby and lets face it, we all want our babies to be happy so we will do what makes them happy. We wont let them starve and that is important.

Good Luck
Stephanie

Stephanie, NSW, Mother of Mackenzie

I hear you and do agree with the things you say. I had a good feeder from the beginning, it was just me who was lazy. I had everyone telling me how much easier it was to bottlefeed anyway, so I gradually weaned Emily off and then she was fully bottlefed from 5 months. There is virtually no info out there for mums who decide to bottlefeed. You have to try the different formulas (I settled for the S26 Gold for a month or 2 then moved onto S26 Progress), and then there's the other half of the family who made me feel guilty (especially the mother-in-law).

Emily is a very bright little girl (successfully using the shape sorter at 6 months) and she's no lesser of a child than those who are breastfed. She's reached all her milestones on cue. I had the clinic nurses tell me she needed to be fed more to put on weight (she gained very little when I was breastffeeding her) and it shows how little they assume because Emily still didn't gain the right weekly rate even as a bottlefed infant.

It doesn't matter which way you choose, you have to do what's best for the baby. I must say I will try to breastfeed the next one exclusively as formula is too darn expensive! How about we rally for free samples/coupons for formula...how many times do you remember formula going out at discounted prices?

Michelle, 23, WA; mum to Emily Renae (11 months)

I completely understand. After a day of having my daughter Jade. I went to a hospital and the head midwife made me stay up all night to try and Breastfeed her on both sides. Her problem was that she would only latch onto one side. However, the midwife began saying that I was a useless mother and didn't think I had any milk on the other side, until I expressed from it.

Anyway that one bad experience and constant demanding from everyone about breastfeeding my daughter made me feel really stressed out and upset, so I slowly gave up breast feeding for the bottle around 6 weeks of age.

Jade is now 5 months and growing well.

In many ways, I feel that if I hadn't been pushed into breastfeeding so much, then I might not have felt so uncomfortable and would still be breastfeeding. My mother even put me down for bottle feeding and we were not talking for a while because of it. She even told me that my sister who is currently pregnant would be a better mother as she is planning to breastfeed for at least 6 months.

I believe that as it's parent/s choice they should be respected and treated fairly for their decision and more information should be given to parents about bottle feeding.


Hi, I also had probs getting my baby to attach, she was fine on one side but the other NO GO ...The nurses made my life an absolute misery the first couple of days after i had her...In the end i told them to back off and show me where the formula was kept....after that I was given the cold shoulder and the nurses were even quite rude to any family members that called and asked to be put through to my room.....If i ever have another baby I will never go back to that hospital.....They were awful to me.....I couldnt even leave the ward to go outside for fresh air or go to the shop as the nurses refused to watch my baby......They told me that they were not built in babysitters......CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT !!!! I am in their hospital recovering and they arent there to look after me and my baby !!!!!!! Anyway back to the original topic, my baby has thrived since birth and is even slightly chubby for her age height etc.......and as for intelligence or LACK OF ! what a load of hogwash !

Lisa SA mum to beautiful haley born 27/9/03

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