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Some couples try almost immediately to get pregnant after miscarriage. Others feel that this is way too soon and they need more time to recover their emotional and sexual mojo. Needing lots of recovery time is especially true if you miscarried in the second trimester.
Deciding when to start is entirely up to you and your partner and what feels best. There is no right or wrong way to go. Don’t let others pressure you into trying to have a baby after miscarriage if you aren’t ready. Everyone from your doctor to your mother-in-law will have an opinion, but the only opinion that counts is yours. And that can change from yearning to start right away to never wanting to get pregnant ever again, all within the space of a few minutes!
You may also get people telling you that quickly getting pregnant after miscarriage will relieve your grief – this is not necessarily the case so trust your instincts on this one.
Besides needing time to get over the loss and recover from topsy turvy hormones, it could be a good idea to wait for your period to come back. This is because if you don’t, you may experience one of two scenarios, both of which could cause unnecessary pain and anxiety:
There is school of thought that some women are especially fertile in the 2 – 3 months immediately following the loss of a fetus, however, there is no scientific proof to back this up.
If there were medical complications with the pregnancy then you should consult your doctor before you start trying to get pregnant following a miscarriage, as you or possibly your partner may need some kind of treatment.
Having a miscarriage doesn’t mean you’re now at greater risk of having another miscarriage. But of course it’s only natural that you will be worried it will happen again.
Fortunately, the odds are overwhelmingly in favour of you getting a healthy baby next time round.
Understandably, you might not be as happy and excited with your next pregnancy as you may still be feeling broken-hearted about the miscarriage or concerned about losing this one too. There are several things you can do to make things easier:
Your doctor may refer you to a specialist if you:
Trying to conceive again after a miscarriage can be a very emotional experience. You may feel hopeful and optimistic one minute, and anxious, afraid and stressed the next. Talk with your partner about your emotions and seek counselling if necessary. You should also try to establish a network of loved ones to provide you with the support you need and talk to other women who have experienced miscarriage to help you cope.
For more information and support, see your General Practitioner, midwife or health care professional. You can also visit Miscarriage Support Auckland Inc. for useful links and contacts for support groups throughout New Zealand.