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How to cope with accidents to your child Lock Rss

Hi everyone
just thought that I would share some of my feelings with other moms as i am finding really very hard to cope with it any more.while i am writing this I am in tears as my 22 months old girl had splet out some hot tea over her face last night.
We were in afriends house nad I was keeping an eye on her while also taking care of my 2 montsh old one but the only minutue we took our eyes off her she went to teh kichen and tried to reach a mug full of hot tea and then the only thing i remember is a loud cry which i will never forget in my life.she has got 2 nd degrree burn on =her face ,few blisters and luckily her eyes were not hurt. and even being a doctor i was scared to death about her condition but the docs who trated her said hopefully she won't have any scar and it iwll heal nicely.and her progress will be monitored by a plastic surgeon. But still i just can't forgive my self for that 1 mints ..i am still hearing her that cry and whenevr i see her i feel so guilty . i just don't know what to do..... and i know many of my friends and family are judging us as a careless , selfish parents..
just wondering is there any other parents out there who happend to be on the similar situation( i hope not many ..........)
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter.
I cant say ive been in a similar position but then DD is only 15 months old but i know what its like when she bumps her head and stuff like that.
I think what are saying, and by bringing it up at all proves that you arent careless or selfish. Accidents happen and although they can be serious it doesnt stop them being acidents.

Try hard to just focus on getting your baby better because feeling guilty is just going to make it harder for all of you.

I hope your princess is alright smile

Leanne, Eliza Jade 17/1/05

You shouldn't blame yourself, you have responsibilities to both your children and can't be in two places at the same time. My daughter had a fairly bad accident whilst I was standing right behind her. I was taking her to the toilet at a friends house when she fell and hit her brow on their wooden toilet seat. I was standing right behind her but by the time I picked her up (like 2 sec) she had a huge haematoma formed on her eylid and brow bone. I rushed her straight to hospital and fortunately she had no eye damage but did have the black eye of a professional boxer (according to my doctor) which stayed swollen larger than a golfball, with eye swollen shut, black and blue for a week and a half. This obviously isn't an injury to the extent of your child but I just wanted to illustrate that accidents can happen no matter where you are. I also got judged by people we know and strangers but you just have to remember that you love your child and it was just an accident. Hope all goes well with the surgery.
Hi Naz
It's not easy seeing/hearing your child in pain, but please stop blaming yourself. As the others have said, accidents happen and from the sounds of it, your girl will and is recovering. We had an incident with my boy at the beginning of the year. AT the end of our playgroup session, we were indoors this particular week due to rain. I was chatting with another mum (we were the last two left - with our three kids running around playing). Next thing I know, we hear a thump, and look over into the corner, where my son is laying on a cushion really quiet. As I crossed the floor (only took a second or two - small room), he started to scream and I saw blood on his head. He had run into the rounded corner of a metal cupboard and split his head open. A visit from an ambulance, and then the doctor's office, and four stitches later, I had to ring my husband at work and say "Don't freak out but......" The panic and emotion were pretty awful but the other mum told me later that I seemed to remain pretty calm (I was trying not to freak my boy out any more than necessary). This was all three-four months ago, and all we have left is a small scar on his forehead (right below the hair line). Remember, accidents will happen - but that is what they are - accidents. Anyone who trys to make you feel guilty obviously has forgotten that!

James' Mum

Naz, Dont blame yourself, its true accidents happen all the time and thats why they are called accidents!!

I hope your little one makes a speedy recovery!!

My DD fell off the top of the lounge the day before her 2nd birthday and broke her collarbone and i felt so horrible because i was in the kitchen getting her a drink and all i heard was an earpiercing scream. I couldnt even tell the doctor what she fell on cause i didnt see and i felt so guilty, plus they sent me home and told me nothing was wrong i had her up there again the next day (her birthday) and her sollarbone was bent and broken - another story all together...

Anyway back to the point - like they said on nemo - "if we never let anything happen to them, then nothing would ever happen to them", they need to explore and get into mischief, thats how they learn.

Im Sorry that this has hurt your little one but its in no way your fault....hope you feel better soon too!!!

My daughter broke her leg at 21 months - tripping over the garden hose. We had 5 weeks of her with her leg in a cast, with the looks and comments of other people - particularly about how small she was - and how could she have a broken leg. Luckily there is no long term damage. I still feel guilty (over 6 months later) that it took me about 5 hours to realise that there was something seriously wrong, and that she needed medical attention - even with a broken leg, she had her afternoon sleep, and ate her dinner - just seemed particularly whingy. I did have to argue with the nurse at emergency to get her seen, as they thought I should just go home - as it was highly unlikely that she had actually really hurt herself. At least I can re-assure myself that I argued stongly that there was something wrong, and refused to go home - otherwise the guilt would have been so much worse.

I hope your daughter is recovering well, and doesn't have any longer term problems.

Good luck.

mum to 2 girls

Hi naz1, I just wanted to say that I can truly relate to how you are feeling and the feelings of guilt and blame. My 19month old Son pulled a hot cup of peppermint tea all over himself on Tuesday evening and because it was peppermint tea, it had no milk in it, it was just literally boiling water. My son also received 2nd degree burns and had to go to theatre at one point under general anaesthetic to have his burns properly washed/cleaned out and dressed. Luckily like your little girl, the plastic surgeon, doctors and nurses think that my son should not be left with any scarring, but obviously they can only give their best opinion and can't say 100% that he'll be left with no scarring. Like you, I do not think I will ever forget my son's ear piercing scream straight after it happened, his scream and the pain he was in and the shock of it all that he was experiencing was horrendous! Both my Partner and I and all of our Family are constantly telling my little boy not to go near cups or touch them because they are hot, however for whatever stupid reason, I made this cup of peppermint tea, left it on the side, where it was clearly within his reach (obviously I didn't do that deliberately) but I guess from time to time we all forget just how much they can reach these days, especially if they stand on tip toes etc, but for the life of me I can't work out why I took my eyes off him for even a second and yeah before me or my partner knew it, it was all over him! It is so stupid though, because as I say, I know how much he obcesses about cups if he sees one and how he makes a beeline for them if there happen to be any left lying around that are empty, so why the heck did I leave it on the side in the first place and secondly why the heck did I not push it further back, as I should have known that he'd try and get it if he saw it! I just feel so neglectful and awful. As my son's mother, I'm supposed to protect him with my life, not put him in potential danger or cause him any potential harm. I love my son with all of my heart and more and the bond that we already share is incredible, he is definitely a mummy's boy, which makes what happened and how I feel 10x worse! All of the Paramedics, Doctors, Nurses and Aneasthtists who looked after my son were absolutely incredible though and so many of the told both my partner and I not to blame ourselves and that it was just a pure accident and so many of them did also mention that very similar things had happened to their children when they were younger, perhaps not to quite the same extent, but pretty close anyway, so to hear medical professionals telling me that they'd also taken the eye off the ball for a split second when their children were young, did take away some of the burden that I was feeling and some of the guilt, as it made me realise that accidents can and do happen to anyone and from any walk of life. If I could turn back the clock I would and if I could swap places with my son I would and I'm sure you'd do exactly the same for your little girl! Though yeah please try not to blame yourself, I know that's easier said than done, but it was just purely an accident, the same as it was with my son and with young inquisitive, curious, growing minds, as much as we try to protect them from harm, sometimes things just happen in a split second that are out of our control. Plus unless we wrap our children up in cotton wool, which wouldn't be much of a life for them, we have to let them learn and explore, even if it lands them in dangerous situations, we can tell our kids no until we're blue in the face and we can teach them right from wrong to the best of our abilities, but from time to time no matter what we say, they are going to go ahead and do things anyway and it's in those moments that we have to hope that they learn from their mistakes and be there to pick them up if/when things go wrong. If my son is left with scars, I know that I will look at them everyday and they will be a constant reminder of me taking my eye off the ball and my mothering duties for as long as I live and the thought that my precious beautiful little boy still could be scarred for life makes me feel sick, but he's been so brave and amazing through it all and still comes to me first whenever he's tired or upset or just wants comfort, so he clearly doesn't blame me, so I have to stop blaming myself and so do you!
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