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General Toddler Development. Rss

Hi all!

My name is Trudie, and I have a gorgeous 16 month old son named Matthew. I am a 32 year old single mum, and have been since I was 28 weeks pregnant with Matty. I have recently been copping a lot of grief from his Father in relation to Matthew's development. His dad doesn't see him very often, nor does he spend much time with him. This is sad, because I want Matty to see his Father on a regular basis even though we are no longer a couple. It is his father's choice not to see him often, and I can't make him spend more time with him. Matty's dad believes he has several developmental delays, and has come to this conclusion based on very limited contact with his son. I have tried to point out some rather obvious facts relating to Matthew, but he won't listen to anything I have to say. He wants to have Matthew assessed by a private pediatric specialist, and I disagree with him. Matthew is still not walking yet, but is at the final stage, and loves pushing his puppy walker around. He stands on his own, and cruises around on the furniture. He pushes the chairs all over the tiles....he's just not ready to walk on his own yet. His dad thinks this is abnormal. His Dad also believes Matty should be talking more than he does. His dad isn't around often enough to hear all of the words and sounds that come out of Matty's mouth. Matty has a vocab of aprox 10 words, and makes sounds associated with objects such as a clock and a car. Matty doesn't use these words all of the time, but I have heard him say them and he knows what he is saying. Matty also jargons a lot, which is a normal speech develoment stage for his age. His dad also thinks Matty is socially delayed. Matty goes to childcare 1 day per week, and interacts with other kids close to his age at a mum's group we attend once per week. He also sees his cousins every week and socialises with them also. I am seeing a midwife next week at the child health centre in the public hospital to see if there is any cause for concern, or need to pursue further assessment. I have asked the opinions of several professional women who see Matty weekly, and they all have said that they would not be concerned if they were me. My gut instinct tells me he is fine.....and I do believe mum does know best in this situation. I am with him all of the time, and I know each child is an individual and therefore develops differently. I am just so angry with his dad right now...he says not to take offense to what he is saying, but I can't help but take it personally. Are there any other mum's out there who have experienced similar situations involving their ex's?
Please get back to me if you have any advice or similar stories to share.

Thanks....
regards
Trudie
Toowoomba, QLD
mum of Matthew aged 16 months
I don't believe that there is anything wrong with your little boy, and as you have said mums know best. smile

My 19 month old boy has just started to walk by himself in the last month, he still prefers to have something to hold on to but I know that he can do it. But my other son who is 31 months started walking on his first birthday. Every kid is different and some just have a stronger desire to be on the move. I have noticed though that my younger son is better with his fine motor skill then my elder was at the same age, so each kids develops differently.

In regards to his vocabulary, as long as he can understand what you are saying to him, then he will learn to speak in his own time. My eldest took longer to build up his vocab as he never really had regular exposure to other kids his age, but now it's hard to keep him quiet, one of his favourites is dinosaur smile.

Just keep in mind that you know your son and you know if there is something wrong, more then likely that the Midwife will tell you the same, that there is nothing wrong.

I hope that all goes well for you and Matty
Hi there, I have a 10 year old daughter and I have been divorced from her dad since she was nine months old. He used to be always going on about whether she could see or hear properly, even though he wasn't around very often he was convinced that she had problems in these areas. I knew perfectly well that she was fine but I took her to the doctor just so that I could say "I told you so". That shut him up quick smart.
Sounds to me like your toddler is perfectly normal and I doubt any doctor would give you a referal to a pediatrician anyway but why not give it a try, and if it's going to cost you anything make your ex pay. It won't hurt your son and your ex will be unable to comment anymore.

Erin,W.A. kids 12,5,2 and 1

Hi Trudie,

My son, who's now 3 and talking almost perfectly, only said 4 or 5 words at 16 months of age.

Your son sounds like a perfectly normal beautiful little boy!!! And if your ex was around more to spend time with him, he would know this too! Sorry if I seem angry. His attitude sounds so pathetic...I can only imagine what he makes you feel.

And I think 'Mum' does know what's best for her child....without a doubt!!!

Lisa. Mum to Ethan 25/9/2000 and Ben 6/5/2003

Hi Trudie,

Just wanted to say that I think any woman/man raising a child/ren as a single parent is a fantastic role model. Personally I think if your ex is not prepared to be sharing responsibilities equally with you for Matthew then what right has he to be questioning your son's development when he is not there all the time to see. If you have any worries which is completly normal with your first child then have him checked to rest your mind. Your doing fine. Your loving and caring for your son!!!!
Good Luck.

Lisa QLD 8-8-02

i have a a 6yo & a 14mth, my 6yo hasnt seen his dad in 2 1/2 years because his dad cant be bothered with him, at first it was hard but then i relized he's better off not seeing him because now he's not being let down all the time.
My 6yo walked at 13mth & my 14mth is not walking yet because he's just not ready to yet.
I wouldn't worry about it matty sounds normal to me.
mandie
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