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Any one else feeling lonely and left out???? Lock Rss

Hi my name is Natalie, i'm due on the 7th November
I found out about 4weeks ago that i was pregnant. I was so happy when i found out i knew i wanted to keep my child right from the start my partner is also very happy and can't wait. I've just made so many life changes in the past 4 weeks i've started a new job i've moved out of home to live with my boyfriend. And i just don't get to see my friends as much especially my best friend who i've been friends since i was 13 really hurts that she wont talk to me since i told her i thought she'd be just as happy as me that she was going to be an aunty. Sometimes my bf just doesn't get how i'm feeling like if we are at a friends house and i'm tired coz it's hard work making a baby!!! hehe he just gets all angry and doesn't wanna leave and some days he's really sweet and caring. Just sometimes i really wonder if i should have my baby but i want it. Should i be feeling like this?? Somedays i'm just so exhausted and frustrated i just wanna sit in a corner and cry. I'm scared i'm goin to go in a depression mood or sumfin. Can someone help me out????
Hi Natalie,

I sorta now how your feeling..my bubs is due 6 June, and i didnt really want to tell my family coz i found out i was pregnant 2 weeks before my wedding, which is a bad thing for my religion.

My fiance at the time did not want to keep the baby, but i couldnt bring myself to not have it, after all its not the baby's fault that it was conceived, so i was going to have it regardless.

When we did tell family, it came as a big shock to them and there was no excitement at all. This was majorly depressing and then a couple of weeks later we found out my sister in law was pregnant with her 3rd child. This made everything worse for me as everyone was excited for her but not for me. I still get down about it now and i feel sometimes my husband doesnt understand what we actually go through emotionally and physically.

Ive decided that at no matter what, its the other people who will miss out. I am going to have this baby no matter what and i want that more then anything. If no one in this world was to stand by and support me then its them who have the problem. How they act towards me now when i need them the most is what I will remember when my beautiful girl is born and I will show them that they cant be like that and then change once shes here.

I have cried myself to sleep so many times over all this, but now being 8 months im just concentrating on me and bubs getting through this together and hoping that things working out at the end.

Sorry bout rambling...hope it makes some sorta sense and might be a bit helpful to you to be strong and make it though this rough time.

good luck with it all and let us know how you go...
hi Natalie
How many weeks pregnant are you? what part of NZ r u in? im in auckland. some of my friends were realy suportive, others wernt. i've spent many nights crying, and i still do cry alot. im due in May. if you think you might end up with depression you may want to see your doctor and talk to them about it, they may be able to help. up untill i was about 20weeks all i wanted to do was sleep. good luck, and SMILE!!!! smilesmilesmile
Hi Natalie,

I think what you're feeling is completely normal. Your hormones wouldn't be helping either. I found that I would cry at anything in the first 12 weeks. I am 32 weeks pregnant now, but in the first 12 weeks all I did was cry as it was an unplanned pregnancy. I felt left out as I couldn't drink anymore, and I also got very tired when my partner wanted to keep doing things we did before I was pregnant. He is very understanding though. I don't think the men understand 100% and of course it's hard for them to understand as they don't experience the physical side of it. I think you need to give yourself some time as it is also something you have to get used to - the idea of being a parent.

Don't be scared if you're not over the moon about it as this is normal. I still, to this day, think in my head.... I am not ready for this and I wish it was later in my life. Doesn't mean I am not happy & I wont love my baby - it's normal to feel all these feelings. Don't mistake depression with being hormonal & emotional. I found my second trimester I really bounced back, felt great & was excited.

My best friend also isn't very interested in me anymore, I think a lot of girls think when you are pregnant that you are going to stick to other pregnant friends or mothers - luckily I had 2 other close friends pregnant along with me (they have both just had their babies now) But my other friend and I barely see each other. I guess it shows what your friendship was based on. Nothing should change just because you are pregnant.

Goodluck, look forward to the next few weeks where your emotions should start to settle down. I promise you will feel better soon.

Amanda xx

Hi Natalie,

I do understand how your feeling, for me its part hormones and its all the changes.

My family said congratulations but none seem thrilled, were as me and my husband are over the moon as we had been trying for 4 years before we conceived so its a big deal to us.

Add to that my own mother hasn't been to positive about anything I tell her to do with the baby and what I want to do and yeah you feel pretty icky.

I go through the loneliness as hubby works during the day and I am home alone with no transport in the middle of no were and my best friends live about 6 hours away in opposite directions ones in QLD and one is in Sydney.

It can be hard. I have found some nice people on here to chat with that helps alot with the loneliness.

I also understand the need or feeling of wanting to cry I get that way too the hormones don't make it easier either and the tiredness is horrible. Hubby isn't always perfect and sometimes he forgets I am creating his child within me and hey its a change and a half for any one.

I think its hard for the men to relate especially in the early stages as they cant see anything and only have what you tell them to go on.

BUT chin up your not alone and you will get through it just try and focus on your baby ....pick names, or do as I am hopelessly trying to do learn to knit basically just try and focus on the positives.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Best wishes

Penny Cassie - Maddison Abigail born 15th Oct 2006

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