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Breast v's Bottle Rss

I am 21 and have a 4.5 month old. i find it very distressing to be overloaded with advice from others whom i do not know. I could not breast feed my son and so i have him on formular. i have had people in the shopping centres and other places come up to me and tell me how i am defying my son of the nutrients he needs . This makes me so angry. i am now to embarresed to feed him in public. does any one elsehave this prob??????

Chantelle, NSW

Dear Chaz,
Don't you dare feel guilty. You obviously wanted to breast feed your baby but couldn't. I was the same. I only lasted 6 days when Daniel dehydrated and had to be taken to newborn care. It scared the life out of me and my hubbie. After persisting for a gruelling 3 hour feeding session the following day I decided that formula was best for him - at least he took that without a problem. Yes, the guilt you feel for not doing the "right" thing is enourmous at first. Once you get over this stage of guilt there is more to come! When your baby starts getting around and knocks itself on furniture or has falls. Then when you take them to the shops people look at you like you are child bashers. The best thing to do is look at them in the eyes and challenge them to dare say anything! Some people will never have anything nice to say. Look at this way - you have a beautiful, healthy baby and really that is all that counts.
hi chaz

with my first i stopped breastfeeding at 3 months as i went back to university fulltime and worked. i found it too hard to express so i decided to put my son on formula.
he took to it so well and was a happier baby as he was fuller then when i was breast feeding.
my partners family went crazy at me but i stuck to it and my son who is 2 now is smart, happy and healthy. i dont think he missed out on any nutrients or that our bonding suffered in anyway.
stick to your guns, in the end your the mother and we all know that we would never do anything that would harm our babies so bottle feeding cant be that bad.

luv stac

Staci, SA, 2yr boy & pregnant (EDD 9/6/03)

hi, i have been lucky enough to be able to b/feed my 3 children with no troubles.. each one was (no.3 still is) fed for about 10 months.. in saying that though, i would never come down on anyone who chose not to or couldn't b/feed. its a personal choice. none of my friends b/fed so i get the other side of it "when are you going to give it up?" etc. don't let anyone make you feel bad for not b/feeding and please don't be embarrissed (?), i see so many bottle feed when i'm out and no one bats an eye lid... good luck with it all.. smile

mum (29) to girl 1996, boy 2001 & boy 2002

People will stick their nose's in no matter what you do. I breast feed my daugher for a couple of mnths (and disliked every minuet of it). People commented on me b/feeding her in public, saying I should go off and do it in private. And no I wasnt showing everything off. Even my hubbie didn't realise I was feeding.
When I changed her to the bottle, I then heard the same comments as you mentioned.
Do what is right for you and your baby. Don't listen to others who interfer. Actually, its quiet liberating to tell them where to put their "advice'.

anna, chch,17mth girl

Hi Chaz,
I never ever wanted to breast feed, right from the word go i said no way, i bought bottles and everything before our son was born, i took everything to the hospital with me including the formula, i found the hospital staff all very supportive, one of them even said it was better than the breast, (thats a first), when i started going to my child & youth parent group thats when i got negatives. The midwife there treated my like a lepper, it didn't worry me tho, this is my body and my life so therefore MY CHOICE! You do whats best for you and your child.
goodluck.

Austinn's mum

I b/fed my baby girl until she was four mnths. Alija weaned herself as there was simply not enough milk there. I had to put her onto formula and she has thrived and gained plenty of weight and seems to be extremely happy. It was a really sad time for me as I really enjoyed breast feeding and had wanted to for about a year. However, I had to do what was best for my child. It really is a personal choice, and I just thank God that we have formula available to us as I would have been in serious trouble! This is such an old debate. When my mum was having my oldest brother, they didn't encourage breast feeding and wanted all babies to be on formula. Now they are almost too demanding about breast feeding, and make you feel awful if you cannot feed your baby. I love my baby andonly want the best for her.
I am about eight weeks with my next pregnancy, and I intend to feed for as long as possible, I will be leaving my options open however.

mum to Alija 7 mnths

I breast fed my baby till 3 months when I ran out of milk he was slowly starving and I could not figure out what was wrong. Thank God for formula it was wonderful to know I really was giving him milk. Yes people do seem to frown upon the bottle but there is plenty more of us who understand. Try not to let it worry you as this stage will soon be over and the next thing will be happening. Unfortunately having a baby does seem to make you public property - it is like dummies and that is another debate!!
I too could not breastfed my frist child and put him on the bottle and with my second, I had trouble breastfeeding aswell so she went on to the bottle! I had found people discouraged me because I bottlefed but I soon realised that it shouldn't bother me as in my books I was doing the best thing for my children...FEEDING THEM!! People don't seem to realise that breastfeeding doesn't come naturally and that some women, for one reason or another, can't breastfeed! Just try to ignore them as you ARE doing the best for your child!!

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

im a bottle feeder myself, i have two children already my first was on the breast for only 2 weeks, everyone drilled me on how much better it is for her and all that bla bla bla......
I was unable to breastfeed any longer due to my lil one killing my boobs (i ended up bleeding and scabbing oouuuchchch) - (and yes i was doing everything correctly) But when i switched to bottle WOW!!!!!! how much better more convienient...
Now my second, i produced nothing i didnt even leak a lil bit during the pregnanacy.... so was unable to even attempt.... but i didnt mind...
I am now on my third pregnancy, this baby has a different father and has asked me to try brestfeeding..... But when i really sit down and think about it..... Im not compfortable doing it, i hide from everyone im not one of those people that can just bring it out any where you know....... I discuss this matter with him alot, cause it is a big thing for him being his first "Baby" (he was not around the girls til my youngest was 1.5 years)
Everyone has drilled him since finding out about the pregnancy...... BREASTFEED FOR THE BABY ITS SAFER BLA BLA BLA>>>>>>>
Im sorry but i have two bottle babies already, and they are healthier then ever i find that they dont get sick my family has breastfeed babies and i notice they get sick alot more often......
IT EVERYONE TO THEM SELVES AND AS LONG AS YOUR BABY IS HEALTHY AND HAPPY DONT LISTEN TO NOONE ELSES OPINION
I agree with everyone else here. I was lucky enough to be able to feed my first for 1 year on the breast, and hope to do the same with the second. It wasn't easy (milk takes longer to come in with a Caesarean, which is what I had), George ended up on supplemental feeding for a few days, either that or he would have ended up in hospital himself.
One thing I have noticed that makes it harder to feel good about whatever decision you make is the judgemental attitudes of some of the health professionals. My plunket nurse was very pro my choice, but very anti one of the other ladies in my plunket coffee group. She had stopped breastfeeding and gone onto formula for her twins, the fact that her supply dried up completely didn't seem to register with this lady!
A lot of women don't have a choice, which she didn't seem to understand, and there are always various factors behind the choices we make that may not be obvious to outsiders. The main thing is our children are happy and healthy, and that we ourselves are satisfied we are doing our best.

Rachelle, NZ, son George 10.12.02, Ian 15.06.04

I was not able to breastfeed unfortunately. Aidan was born by caesarean so I was aware that the milk takes a couple of extra days to come through. But because of his size - 81b 10oz and 56cm, he fed constantly, and I developed mastitis in the left breast. I carried on breast feeding, but he still fed for hours at a time, and it got to the point where I wasn't looking forward to feeding him as the pain was just unbearable. The mastitis was spreading to the right breast as well, which didn't help. I tried expressing milk, and the midwives sent me home from the hospital with a pump, but all Aidan was getting was about 10-20mls after pumping for 1/2 hour. He began getting dehydrated and had started getting jaundice while we were still in the hospital, so I was having him topped up on formula. It got worse when we got home - I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't able to get myself anything to eat etc ... and I was in tears from the pain, and we were having trouble bonding. We made the decision to go to the bottle in the end, after trying so hard for 8 days to breast feed. At least he got a good start - I had plenty of colustrum, but very little milk.
Aidan is coming up 6 weeks now, and he is doing wonderfully. He's gaining weight rapidly, and he's healthy and happy, and we have bonded really well. I'm sad I can't breastfeed, but I'm happy my baby is doing so well now, and my midwife and the hospital staff could not have been more supportive & I have had no negative reactions as yet. I was a formula baby, as Mum had problems as well, and I have turned out perfectly healthy.
Yes, some women can do it and some can't; the most important thing is your baby is happy & healthy and goes to sleep with a full belly!!! I know now that he's a very satisfied little boy ... and I feel better that I can also now look after myself properly - babies need a healthy mum too!!
Take care everyone smile

Ambs

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

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