Juggling full time work, domestic stuff and family.

I have 3 children (4 if you include my husband), Josh 8, Maddi 5, and Hailey 21 weeks.
I also work full time (8.30 - 5). I have a lot of trouble juggling the 2.
By the time i get home and cook dinner - we don't eat until around 7.30 - 8pm, the kids generally don't get to bed until 9pm (and usually only 1/2 hr after dinner), i don't get to bed until around midnight because i'm trying to clean up after dinner and get everything organised for the next day, then i'm so tired the next morning I usually sleep through the alarm clock, and then run late for work.
I'm in a vicious cycle and can't seem to break it. I hardly have time to spend with my kids, even just to go through there homework with them is a struggle.
I'm trying to loose all that pregnancy weight, so i'm also trying to get to the gym a couple of nights a week (hubby takes over then).
The weekends are full with cleaning, washing, etc, and I don't seem to get 5 minutes to sit down and relax. I'm exhausted.
Does anyone else have this problem or advice on juggling it all.

Dear Mel,
I was exhausted just reading about your daily life.


While you are running around madly attending to everyones needs but your own Where is your husband?????


When both of you are working both of you have to pull together as a team.
After all your money is pulled together jointly.

Both my husband and I worked long hours running a business plus having a baby inbetween.
We shared chores. We did this by working out between us what we enjoyed doing. ie. I hate dusting and cleaning the bathroom so he did it. I did the vaccuming and the washing.
We also made a pack that we did it early Sat morning and it must be finished by 11.a.m to go out to enjoy a cuppa together.
We also shared cooking nights.

If your husband is not supportive then I suggest you hire someone to clean the house and do the washing.

It is totally unreasonable for him to expect you to do the lot.

Speak up now before the "She can do it all" habit sets in and gets out of control.
Dont become a doormat!

(By the way I am 45years and also have older children, 24, 22, 20 and 15)plus the baby I mentioned .)

Go Girl!!!

Oh my goodness this sounds like my life oh what life. I have 2 children and 3 exactly if you count the hubby. I am a nurse and work a rotating roster but full time and trying to finish a nursing degree I only have 2 weeks to go. My partner helps out when he wants by the time you finish cooking dinner, doing the dishes and getting everything ready for the next day, I might as well not go to sleep. I am starting to become grumpy and my own health has deteriorated. I have been diagnosed with irratible bowel syndrome and it has taken a long time to find a tablet that works for me. I believe my illnesses are a part of being run down.
Good luck with everything.

Finally, a few other mums like me, exhaused, run down, and no time for us.

Our lives do sound alike. Reading about your evening ritual of cooking, cleaning etc is exactly like mine, only that my husband is never home to help me, even if he did want to - he is a shift worker, and works most nights from about 6pm - 6am or 4pm to 4am. We generally pass each other - i walk in as he walks out, and vice versa the following morning.
When he is home, he is generally trying to catch up on some sleep (he doesn't get much, because he is always trying to spend time with us when he is here).

I also have IBS. Have had since the birth of my 1st child (8 1/2 years ago). I have found buscopan to be really good for this, a bit of a problem when i was pregnant with the last one though, couldn't take anything for it, and towards the end, half the time wasn't sure if i was having an IBS attack, or if i was in labour. i was always worried i'd go to the toilet and end up giving birth there (not that i have quick labours mind you).

My health has actually deteriorated a bit as well, its especially hard to fight off colds and things like that when your so run down all the time......being a mum though, you just have to cope.

Have you seen the email going around about the mother that says shes going to bed and does a heap of things around the house before getting there. the hubby says hes going to bed and goes without a 2nd thought to anything else????? I'll have to find it and post it on here somewhere.

I'm struggling now with a few new problems with the kids, my eldest has been diagnosed with ADD and dyslexia (and he's the good one!!!), the 2nd one has adhd with oppositional defiance disorder as a co-morbidity, and an endless list of food intollerances (and yes she was breastfed until 12 months).
My baby has reflux, but i can cope with that in comparison to the others.

Oh, does it ever end, no wonder i don't have time for anything.
There is even a new rumour going around my hubby's side of the family that i'm not coping with being a mum and full time work since i had the baby, because apparently my house is a mess with washing piled up on all walls (and i am obsessive compulsive about cleanliness too).

Anyway, thats enough whinging from me for 1 night, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all you wonderful tired mums out there. I hope you all have a relaxing stress free day.

mel.

We are more alike than you think. By the way this is my second time of writing this as my computer just had a spasm on me,anyhow I to have a food intollerant child a couple of other parents and I have been discussing this issue under toddler and then under Growth because I accidently put it in the wrong spot I think you will find it interesting have a look and then email me my email address is there I would be happy to chat with you on line if you would like. Just go to as I said above.

Hya Mel,

I am like you full time work, domestic stuff and looking after my 14 month old son and my husband. Mondays my mother-in-law looks after him, Tuesdays and half day Friday he is at my parents place and Wednesday and Thursdays he is in Family daycare. I am slowly into a routine with everything. Most evenings we will have dinner around 6-6.30pm except Mondays when my husband take his mum home.

We help each other out with domestic work, washing, cleaning etc team work. We live in a townhouse and I clean upstairs and he cleans downstairs as well as doing the bird avary in the yard.

Hope this information is helpful

2 months ago I would have thought you were crazy but now I'm back 2 work I feel like you have just described my life, except I only work 3 days a week, and I only have one boy who is nearly 1 (however sometimes i think i have 4 - 1 son, 1 partner, 1 dog and 1 puppy).

My day starts at 4.30am every day when I get my partner up and off to work... he sleeps through the alarm everyday without fail so if i didn't wake him he would still be in bed. By the time he's gone it's 5.15 and time for me to have a shower and get myself ready for work... I then sit and have a cuppa and watch the news highlights (the only 5 minutes I have to myself all day)... then at about 6.15 my son wakes up and I spend the rest of my morning (45 minutes) getting him ready for day care. By 7am, I am exhausted and I haven't even left for work yet. My mum will be knocking on the door any minute to drive dj to day care and me to work (our car was stolen recently so my mum has turned into a taxi service... god bless her!)

It's nearly 5.45 by the time I get home from work and pick up dj from day care... only 15 minutes to scramble through the cupboards, find and cook something for dj's dinner. I then attempt to give him a bath... however spend more time wrestling him back into the bath than actually washing him!!! At this point my partner comes home expecting dinner on the table already, yeah right, I then attempt to dress dj in his pj's and let him have a play for 1/2 hour. Whilst i'm busy trying to concoct something for dinner my partner takes the dogs for a walk (his only contribution to the days chores).

It's now 8.30pm and we're just about to sit down for dinner... I haven't cleaned up this mornings mess yet, let alone the dinner table, washing, ironing and anything else that crops up along the way. By the time everything is done the late news is on, so i watch that and then go to bed (about 11.30/11.45).

And to top it all off my partner brought home a new puppy on the weekend.... Aaaargh I could kill him sometimes.

hi mel the way i look at it is whats more important to you your job or your three adorable kids i asked myself the same question a few months ago and i came up with an answer i quit my apprenticeship to see my daughter grow up its tough i no but spmetimes youve got to do it.good luck sweetie...

Why have such a full life that you can't enjoy it, and yeah where are the men. I wont listen to this shift worker rubbish, so he wakes up and does the dishes, why should you do everything. The first thing you stop doing is wash his clothes, when he runs out tell him to do them himself. My other half and I are both shift workers, police people, we have a 2 month old daughter and I am returning to full time work in May. The aim is to pay off the debts before baby number two (in two years) so I can stay at home. I think if you decide to have them the children are most important. Although I love my job, my children need my attention and through my job I see the outcome too many times of what happens if parents aren't around. My other half and I are deciding on whether or not we both go part time rather than me stopping all together as dads influence is just as important as mums.

Hi ns

All I can say is WELL SAID!

Bec

Mel,

Can you explain what

with oppositional defiance disorder as a co-morbidity,

these are

they sound very scary

Steph