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I will be going back to work part time, but the minute she realises I am gone she starts crying uncontollably

Hi Sally-Anne,
My little girl Angelica is 6 1/2 months old and as of Feb 2008 I will be going back to work part time.
Angelica will be looked after by her grandma. I have tried to leave her with her grandma on a couple of occasions for a short amount of time approx 30 mins to 1 hour, to get her used to being away from me and she absolutely freaks out.
The minute she realises I am gone she starts crying uncontollable and doesn`t settle until I am back.
She sees her grandma quite frequently at least every second day.
I am wondering if you have any suggestions to overcome this.
You help will be greatly appreciated.
Stacey

Sally...
Answer: Hi Stacey,
Thanks for raising this issue. Very young babies think that if they cannot see something, it no longer exists. As babies start getting older, they start developing a concept called “object permanence” which is where they know that their parents exist but they cannot see them. When this stage begins, they are unclear as to whether the parent is ever going to return or not, so they can become anxious. At this age, she needs some reassurance that you will be coming back (so do NOT “sneak out” because the child learns that if you are not in his/her sight, you really might have gone for a long time rather than just being in the next room).

Tell her that you are going and give her a quick kiss (similar to a bedtime routine) then she will eventually realise that this is what happens when her parent goes and he/she will be back later. Also, to make sure that your daughter does not associate grandma with her parent disappearing (and therefore become stressed each time she sees her), make sure that you have times where you are there with grandma.

Working and having children can be a rewarding time for families – for parents and grandparents as well as the children. Have fun!

All the Best!
Sally-Anne

Answered: 22 Dec 2007

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