Your Parenting Tips

[Lauraine]

Hi to all our members,

The Huggies team would like to hear about some of your parenting tips you find useful. Whether they are practical, creative or something you've picked up on the run, we'd love to know.

Here's one of mine to get the ball rolling. Cut your baby's finger nails while they're asleep. There's less chance of them squirming at the crucial moment and taking a chunk from their skin.

We're looking forward to your input.

Regards,

Lauraine

[Chelby]

If your daughter has fine hair wet your hands first and not their hair, and u will find its more managable

[Emmy-Lou]

Cabbage leaves do wonders for sore breasts - just don't leave them on too long as they will dry up your milk supply

[nyrrek]

My advice for parents is to be consistent with your difficult kids. A strong willed child will need good, firm boundaries and the same rules every day, no matter what. It is exhausting and easy to just say "Do what you want". But now having a nine year old who has great character and makes (mostly) good decisions about how to behave, this advice stands the test of time. I would go to a friend's house and her children would be jumping on the bed with shoes on, or running through the house with food or something, and I would have to say to my son " We don't do that at home, we don't do it here". It was hard to have to do that, but he was not the type of child that could change his behaviour when he got home. My friends soon had to learn not to be offended, but I had to stay strong with our rules, or I wouldn't cope when I got him home. It's a lot harder to undo bad behaviours than to instill good ones from the start. Of course, this means getting your husband, grandparents etc to have the same rules for your child, too, to avoid confusing them.

[vkw]

good advice . my 4 yr ols son has been watching monsters inc a lot lately but hubby said not to letr him watch it as he gets a bit silly so on friday he sid he was not to watch it but could watch something else . he chose the thundrebirds instead but it is so easy to give in but is not foe rheier best inerssts in the long run . i read some advice trthat said if you cannot conttrol a child at 3 thebn you will not have much chance at 15 . always try to think about this when things are a bit difficult

[Kristina]

Lauraines tip is a great one, but if like mine your baby is a light sleeper and you don't want to chance waking them, the other good time to cut their nails is to get your Partner to do it whle you are bottle / breastfeeding. Also they are softer straight after a bath!

[lindab]

My little girl is 16 months old and the only way I can cut her nails now is to sit her on my lap and be armed with a couple of cracker biscuits. Even then she still winges, but, most time she is so focused on what she can put in her mouth that she allows me to cut her fingernails one hand at a time. When she was very young I used to do them whilst she was asleep.

[Jordys mum]

My tip is not to fuss over your child when they have a bump or scracth. Watch them out of the corner of your eye to make sure they are Ok but if you fuss every time you will end up with a sooky sulky child. My daughter used to stop, look for our reaction and react accordingly. Now she only cries if she genuinely hurts herself. Makes being a mum a lot easier.
My other tip is for high chair play. If you child drops something over the edge warn them and on the third time DONT pick it up. This will save your back.
These sound hard but are well worth the effort and my little girl is very happy with the rules

[Buzzy]

always turn socks and booties inside out and trim any cotton that is loose, they can get caught in babies toes and cause pain, and you would never know why they are crying.

[leisa_commins]

Hi Im Leisa,

My tip is that for first time Mum's please listen to the Nurse's. Dont get fooled into running to them when they cry. After checking the is she this list, and she still cry's dont go till atleast 1 and a half hours have past, you might find that she is just crying because she is excerciseing her lungs and is getting use to the environment. Also that they are seeing if you will fall for attention pleas. Also Start with I won't take that garbage tacktics It has helped me have not fussy eaters, who listen and talk very well, and I almost have them toilet trained by 3 and I have two boys the same age. Also this makes for good sleepers. Try sound muffs to block out screeming, this helps in getting good sleepers. They will soon get the message your not going to run when they cry all the time and they will only cry for a actual reason. Be alittle tough, and you will get alot of return. Mrs L. Commins

[nyrrek]

At the risk of being rude, how do you know if it is 'real' screaming if you have earmuffs on? Secondly, I think that lungs are organs, not muscles. They don't need exercising. Crying is about as good for the lungs as bleeding is good for the arteries! While babies may cry for many reasons and you may not choose to pick them up each time, a mother has a duty of care to eliminate all 'real' problems before deciding it is an attention cry or whatever. Little babies can not manipulate. They are built with a mechanism to cry to communicate needs. Even if it is just to be held. I think I need to stop now..

[Angel_Baby]

I tend to agree with you nyrrek.......

The only way babies have to communicate with us is by crying, and lungs don't need to be excercised, that is a myth. Even the nurses will tell you that even if you are one to try 'control crying', you should do this until a certain age. I read somewhere that when a baby cries, sometimes they just need a cuddle (remember, they were in your womb for 9 months and suddenly they are all alone), if you don't come, they will continue to cry until they think that they have been deserted and then they will stop crying only to conserve energy and so that they don't attract predators (this is an animal instinct thing). This may sound a bit far fetched, I think I read it on the Australian Breastfeeding Assn website, but when it boils down to it, our babies are only babies for such a short time, and all they want is our love and warmth. My daughter sleeps in her cot beside our bed, and occassionally....well more often than not.....she'll climb out of the cot and hop into bed with us. People are always telling me that I shouldn't be allowing it etc etc. However, I think it is each to their own. My brothers and I all slept with Mum & Dad when we were little (if we wanted to) and we all turned out to be good sleepers. My Mum has no regrets about letting us sleep with them...I'd like to be able to look back on our childrens childhood and remember all the love we had. After all, they are babies for such a short time......

Calli

[Enigma]

OMG are you serious Leisa?
I couldnt bear to leave my baby cry for one and a half hours!! and what exactly is ~
'wont take that garbage tacktics'?
I havent heard of that approach to parenting before. I guess its each to their own but I agree we dont have our babies for long and I too would prefer to enjoy them while they are young.

[Emmy-Lou]

I can't imagine that a small baby would cry for that length of time for no reason. Babies are not cognitively aware enough to be manipulative. They are not conscious of the cause and effect (ie. if I cry, Mum will come and get me), until after 6 mths.
I never left my daughter to cry as a baby, and she has gone down awake and slept perfectly from 7 weeks old. If she cried, I picked her up, cuddled her or fed her, and she settled. All they really want is to feel safe and secure.
I also tolerate no nonsense from my daughter, but in a positive way, by reinforcing her good behaviour and ignoring her bad behaviour. She has frequent tantrums, but they never last long once she realises that she is not getting any attention. By punishing them for such behaviour ( like making them stand against a wall - is that for real?) you only reinforce the idea that bad behaviour is a good way to get Mum's attention.

[Buzzy]

hopefully ms commins was talking about older babies, cause i think if you left a new born cry for 1 1/2 hours you would be done for child abuse...10 mins max was all i would let my child cry unattended for, and even in my mums day 20 mins was max, they claimed that boys especially could get hernias if left to scream for too long...

[Tweet_e]

Wow Leisa really has a "contraversial" topic going there, I do wonder if we have read her post & automatically assumed the worst of her "techniques"...
These are just my opinions & I dont want to upset anyone either...
Only being an expectant mother I havent had hands on experience yet, (I do get in a fair bit of practice with my rascal nephew) although I do believe a no-nonsense attitude is good, but you can only take it so far.
I tend to agree with the above mothers too.
I can just imagine what my neighbours will be thinking if I were to be seen walking around the house with ear muffs on & they hear a child screaming non-stop - probably call our child welfare service. That timeframe is something I will never leave my baby to cry for at any age, I feel if they are crying that long there must be a reason & leaving them to cry like, their brains arent developd like ours, but they still have emotions that surely make them feel neglected & insecure?? & as they get to the stage of knowing they can maniuplate, wouldnt you have learned to tell apart the demand/tantrum & try a different approach rather than letting them cry continuously?
As for using "no garbage tactics" on toilet training, my mother had 4 of us & had each of us out of nappies by 2 yrs (I hope I can do that!) & never forced it on us. In my opinion I dont think discipline should be used at all with toilet training, my husbands niece was forced to go toilet by her other g/mother - & punished when failed - she still holds on as long as possible, she hates it & clams up the moment someone asks if she needs to go - shes almost 6 now & when she stays with us she would be lucky if she went toilet 2 times from lunchtime till bedtime - seeing her fear has made me see its one thing you cant force or punish for.
I would fear bringing up my child with what comes to mind as "standover tactics", not only worrying that it would affect my relationship with them, but also for fear of being considered a bad mother - I'm not trying to say that you are if you bring you child up like this - just as other kiwi mothers will know (as buzzy points out), over here the smallest thing can be taken the wrong way now & you can be done for abuse or neglect and have your child taken from you & you dont even have to have laid a hand on your child.

[Chukkas]

My goodness Leisa,
If you actually listened properly to the Nurse's they would have told you that after 40 minutes go in and give them a cuddle. But you would also go in at regular intervals in between.

I was onced condemed for leaving my son to cry for 10 or 15 minutes whilst I had a shower. But this was only done after I had tried absolutely everything to get him to sleep and nothing worked.

Seems like this is not a parenting tip but more like a tip for child abuse. You may not physically hit your children but you its possible you are doing a darn good job at abusing them emotionally. I understand that with twins it can be sometimes very difficult, I have friends with twins, and they would never dream of following any of your guidlines.

Early on a first time parent, even a second or third etc time parent, can't differentiate between a babies cries as they are new to us and all mean different things. Babies cry as they are hungry, wet or dirty nappy, hot, cold, bored, feel sick plus many more reasons. How can you truely be certain that your baby was crying just "because". Maybe he felt just unwell, nothing major but enough that a cuddle from mum would have fixed.

I will make sure I never follow your advice.
I can only imagine what my condemers think of your techniques.
Kristy

[Emmy-Lou]

Maya cried for an hour and a half last night, but oh boy was it sheer temper!
She usually settles really quickly when I put her down, but last night she suddenly started screaming after she had been in bed about 10 mins. I went and checked on her, gave her some panadol as she is getting her 2 y o molars, and put her back. She cried some more. So I gave her a cuddle and said "what's making you sad?" She kept pointing out towards my bed and saying "mama's bed!"
No way was I letting her in my bed, so I got her up for a few minutes. She sat on the couch with this look on her face that said "ha ha ,I won!". Little monkey.
So after about 1/2 hour lying on the couch I put her back to bed, and she cried again. This time, knowing that there was nothing wrong with her, I left her and let her get on with it. Eventually after about an hour she fell asleep.
Mum and I were listening to her on the monitor the whole time, and you could hear her stop from time to time to listen to what was going on outside! Little ratbag is getting so clever! But if I hadn't have let her get on with it, we wuold end up having the same battle again tonight, and tomorrow, and the next night...
I think the difference is that at 18 mths she understands that bedtime is bedtime, and that her cot is where she sleeps, and her tears were just testingthe boundaries. Smaller babies don't have this undrestanding, they just know they have a need, and crying is their only way to voice that need.