I'm feeling guilty at the moment.

I feel like I am not interacting and playing with DS enough and that he is bored with staying home with me all the time.

I have just been so tired from being sick some days it's a struggle to just get out of bed.

I feel horrible that he doesn't get to interact with other kids his age. I'm going to take him to Playgroup on Fridays when I start to be able to function.

I have considered putting him in daycare one day a week but then I get the guilts about that too.

He's so lovely and clever and is starting to say words now. I feed him, change him and help him off to sleep but that's all I do. I try and play with him and read him stories and that but after about a half an hour my body starts to shut down and all I can do is sit there and supervise him. He's a good boy and will happily play by himself for a while but I am his mum and should be able to keep him happy and entertained without ending up exhausted on the couch. I think now I should be teaching him things and helping him learn.

By 2 o'clock I am literally in tears waiting for DH to get home and play with DS so I can have a break and he can actually have some fun sad I never want to wish away my babies toddler years but thats what I feel like I'm doing at the moment.

I don't know how to fix it and muster up the energy to take him to the park or the beach or even just play with him for a reasonable amount of time at home.

This probably makes no sense. I'm having trouble getting to sleep (how ironic?) and starting to get sleepy so hopefully I will fall asleep quickly and won't feel so damn terrible in the morning.

I dont know your background, have you been to see a doctor?
I suffered from exhaustion for quite a while and it took over 2 years to find out i had Graves disease which is a severe form of thyroid disease (very overactive) this stopped me from playing with and interacting with my son for a long time and i also suffered the guilts.
now in hindsight i realise that i was doing the best i could and he still appreciates every minute i spent with him.
Dont be guilty exhaustion isnt an excuse for laziness, it is a very real problem that needs attention.

I know i cant say anything to make you feel better but i just want to wish you all the best, keep doing your best its all you can do and any time spent with your little one is much better than none.
smile

Oh Nic, I swear I could have written this post myself. I tried to explain to DP last week that it feels like this baby is just sucking the life out of me. I mean i remember being tired during my first pregnancy, but nothing like this. It starts in the morning, I'll make DD breakfast (usually toast so she can eat it herself in the highchair and not make too much mess) and then I have to lay on the lounge while she eats because I'm exhausted. I find myself hanging for her nap time just so I can rest and not feel so guilty. And as much as I dislike the almost constant rain we've had here; its my excuse for not leaving the house. We were supposed to start playgroup last week but when the day comes, I think 'we'll go next time'.

So, sorry, while I can't offer you any great advice or magic cure, just know you're not alone; I feel like a bad mum too. I've just got my fingers crossed that the 2nd trimester brings with it a little energy.

Nic - go to the doctor, get thryoid tested and your iron levels... there must be a reason for your exhaustion.
Your not a bad mum, you're doing the best you can at themoment, don't leave your health to chance.
Hope you get better soon.

Lottie.
Edited to say - didnt know you were pregnant, please contact your mw or LMC:)

It's hard isn't it, I feel like this too. I just can't muster the energy to play so end up just lying on the couch too while he plays around me. We try to go out to things that don't require too much energy on my part (play dates at someones house are good). Hopefully this yucky phase of the pregnancy will pass soon. But yeah might be worth mentioning to midwife how bad you are, could be low iron or something.

I know exactly what you mean!

My MS has been bad and I feel like DD is bored and I should be doing all these entertaining things with her when in reality I just want her to play by herself or watch tv so I can lie down!!

When I feel this way I try to think about all those poor kiddies with parents who are drug addicts or who have parents who just yell and swear at them all day. I really feel sorry for kids in that situation but it puts into perspective how lucky my DD is to have parents who love her to bits, feed her, clothe her and provide a nice home for her.

This phase will pass- don't beat yourself up over it.
x

I have considered putting him in daycare one day a week but then I get the guilts about that too.

Just this bit here. I obviously don't know your child.
But Daycare is a brilliant way for him to play. And with other kids. To interact. And it also prepares him for the time when kindy comes he is already used to spending the time away from you and already knows how to play with other kids and be in an environment where he has to learn to listen. Plus at Daycare they do learn things.
I wouldn't feel guilty about one or two days. It also give you time to boost up your health by getting in a nap or two or whatever you need to do.
Theres not really anything bad about it.

I agree with others hope your able to see doctor soon for your own health.


Ideas to entertain your child while your sick

Jigsaw puzzles
Storybooks
Colouring in
Watch few dvds.
Scrape book for drawing



Wondering if you have banana chair or trampoline you can lay on and rest while you supervise your little darling playing outside.


Thinking of you hope your feeling better asap.

Thinking of you Hun. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you at the moment. I don't see anything bad with the daycare idea, I think if you had a rest day it could do you a world of good. And maybe get your iron levels checked as op have said.

Aw, hugs!
I can only imagine how hard this is for you! You have been through a lot with this pregnancy. You're not being a bad mum at all! You're being the best mum you can smile
There may be a reason for your exhausting (other than just being pregnant!) so a trip to the doctor would probably be a good idea.
And sending your DS to day care once a week isn't a bad thing at all. It would give you a day to rest and do something for yourself! Plus it would help DS so much! Daycare will prepare him better for kindy and teach him to interact with other children. You shouldn't feel bad about this at all because it is beneficial for both DS and yourself.
I hope things get better for you soon!

Just this bit here. I obviously don't know your child.
But Daycare is a brilliant way for him to play. And with other kids. To interact. And it also prepares him for the time when kindy comes he is already used to spending the time away from you and already knows how to play with other kids and be in an environment where he has to learn to listen. Plus at Daycare they do learn things.
I wouldn't feel guilty about one or two days. It also give you time to boost up your health by getting in a nap or two or whatever you need to do.
Theres not really anything bad about it.

Agree with Skip. I put DS in 2 days a week a year ago (he was 2) Mainly so he could burn off some energy and have some social interaction. He loves it and ive seen nothing but benefits from him going. It is so hard trying to keep toddlers entertained at home, mega hard with you being pregnant! I don't know how I lasted 2yrs at home with him all the time, we don't have any family nearby so he's been babysat like maybe 3 times in his life. Don't feel guilty for exploring that avenue at all smile

Hi,
We are human beings and pregnancy can take such a toll on our bodies and minds sometimes. Its a part of life. You are adding to your beautiful little family and if that means physical activities are put on hold for a while then so be it.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Soon your DS will have a new brother or sister and this feeling will be a distant memory.

When I was pregnant with my third I suffered huge mother guilt from not being as involved with my kids as I normally am. Now my baby is 6 months old and you'd never know that I took a few months of taking it easy so to speak.

You don't have to put your little one in day care he would be happy at home with mummy but if it's something you seriously want to consider have a look at your options.

Big hugs, your doing a great job smile

Thanks for all your suggestions and advice girls.

I'm feeling a bit better today and have managed to get through half the morning without falling in a heap on the couch which is an accomplishment.

Lottie and others - I have been and had all those tests done and the doctor assured me it is all fine and that the reason for me being so run down is due to this pregnancy.

I am seriously considering a day a week at daycare. DH thinks its a good idea too...he knows just how tired I am.

Thanks so much to everyone who shared their stories and assured me it gets better. Although I know this sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when your sitting in the dark, iykwim.

Glad your feeling bit better



Hope all of my ideas for your son was helpful.

GBH. I’m not sure if anyone’s mentioned it but... if you’re having trouble sleeping, you have no energy, you think you’re a bad mummy (when we all know you’re not!), you feel guilt, you’re in tears, and you’re expressing feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.... that sounds a lot like PND. sad

I'm feeling guilty at the moment.

I feel like I am not interacting and playing with DS enough and that he is bored with staying home with me all the time.

I have just been so tired from being sick some days it's a struggle to just get out of bed.

I feel horrible that he doesn't get to interact with other kids his age. I'm going to take him to Playgroup on Fridays when I start to be able to function.

I have considered putting him in daycare one day a week but then I get the guilts about that too.

He's so lovely and clever and is starting to say words now. I feed him, change him and help him off to sleep but that's all I do. I try and play with him and read him stories and that but after about a half an hour my body starts to shut down and all I can do is sit there and supervise him. He's a good boy and will happily play by himself for a while but I am his mum and should be able to keep him happy and entertained without ending up exhausted on the couch. I think now I should be teaching him things and helping him learn.

By 2 o'clock I am literally in tears waiting for DH to get home and play with DS so I can have a break and he can actually have some fun sad I never want to wish away my babies toddler years but thats what I feel like I'm doing at the moment.

I don't know how to fix it and muster up the energy to take him to the park or the beach or even just play with him for a reasonable amount of time at home.

This probably makes no sense. I'm having trouble getting to sleep (how ironic?) and starting to get sleepy so hopefully I will fall asleep quickly and won't feel so damn terrible in the morning.

You know a year ago I could have written the exact same post.

I still have days now when I feel really sad because it seems like I closed my eyes for a second or two and when I opened them again DD1 wasn't my baby anymore and I'd missed some of her growing up because I was just too tired being pregnant sad

Dont beat yourself up about it. No one is super human and sometimes somethings gotta give smile

Hi Nic

I could have written exactly what you wrote when I was preggie the 3rd time!!!!

Please don't feel guilty about considering daycare, Caleb might love it and thats a bonus for both of you. He will get to do heaps of activities you dont do at home and interact with other littlies. And you get a day of rest (DO NOT clean the house!!!! smile )

Otherwise at home, he is happy to have mummy there. For me, it was just sitting on the floor with the kids while they played. Also a lot of DVD's and ABC kids. Lol.

I was my own worst enemy about cleaning the house etc, and it is a mental change I had to make. Now I accept that my house is clean but there is still 'stuff' everywhere (eg toys, drawings, crafty stuff). Some days it does drive me crazy but I take a deep breath and remind myself that I have 3 happy healthy children, so I am happy.

Big hugs, you will get through this.

You know a year ago I could have written the exact same post.

I still have days now when I feel really sad because it seems like I closed my eyes for a second or two and when I opened them again DD1 wasn't my baby anymore and I'd missed some of her growing up because I was just too tired being pregnant sad

Dont beat yourself up about it. No one is super human and sometimes somethings gotta give smile

This is how I feel! Like I feel like I am just wasting away those baby years, you know?

Thanks for the advice

Hi Nic

I could have written exactly what you wrote when I was preggie the 3rd time!!!!

Please don't feel guilty about considering daycare, Caleb might love it and thats a bonus for both of you. He will get to do heaps of activities you dont do at home and interact with other littlies. And you get a day of rest (DO NOT clean the house!!!! smile )

Otherwise at home, he is happy to have mummy there. For me, it was just sitting on the floor with the kids while they played. Also a lot of DVD's and ABC kids. Lol.

I was my own worst enemy about cleaning the house etc, and it is a mental change I had to make. Now I accept that my house is clean but there is still 'stuff' everywhere (eg toys, drawings, crafty stuff). Some days it does drive me crazy but I take a deep breath and remind myself that I have 3 happy healthy children, so I am happy.

Big hugs, you will get through this.

Thanks hun. I know he is happy he laughs and giggles and is genuinely happy to be around me so I cant be doing too bad.

I am starting to accept that my house will suffer and that is fine.

Thanks for all your advice darl

First thing's first... you're NOT a bad mum so get that RIGHT out of your head!

Just the fact that you're on here worrying about his wellbeing and quality interactions etc while you're feeling so run down is evidence of that!!

You're no good to him if you're pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion, if some time to rest once a week is what you need, then a quality daycare program for a few hrs/wk is an excellent option! You may be feeling guilty now, but if you go in and have a look around, chances are you'll find one you like, and seeing DS so happy with all the new toys and other kids to play with will put your mind at ease smile

I was quite sick a few weeks ago (over christmas / NY ... it sucked tongue) and found that even just curling up on the couch with the kids and a disney movie gave me a bit of rest and they were entertained. You could also set him up with some blocks or other activity next to the couch and you can lay down and play with him without having to move around etc? Well... maybe for 5 mins... till he sees something else that looks fun and takes off tongue

Hope you're feeling better soon x

Don't feel like you have to entertain your child for their every waking minute. Playing on their own, making their own fun and games is all part of learning. Daycare one day a week is nothing to feel guilty about. Do it and use that time to relax and re-energise. I hope you are feeling more energetic soon.

hey there,
im glad that you have had the tests done, its so important to look after yourself at this time.
Just rest assured that you are not a bad mum, and you have all of our support.
It will get better tho it may take time, my little girl is 12 days old today and i quite rudely drifted off mid sentence whilst talking to my 15 yr old son.
He flicked me on the end of the nose, called me a rude moo and laughed his a**e off.
He thankfully is a great kid and helps with his sister whenever he can especially if his step-dads out or sleeping.
Chin up hun.

I felt like thats with my first pregnancy.. and ended up having prenatal depression and then postnatal but im ok now there is lots of help you just have to talk about it especially to your dr.. but toddlers are so hard to play with when preg I feel ran down alot to (thank goodness DH is on holidays till march!)... but day care would be great.. it will help with independance, let him meet kids his own age, have his own time and space.. and will give you a break so you can just sleep and rest because you sure as heck need it and deserve it.. and its not like its 24.7 its 1 or 2 days a week so your looking after yourself and the new life in you and looking after you is just as important!.. at least you TRY to play with him and give him attention smile don't be to hard on yourself...

Oh you poor thing! I seriously believe that my pregnancies have been the hardest times of my life - and I believe that after enduring my pregancies I can do anything!

Once I knew what pregnancy was like for me, this was what led me to decide to have them close together in age and get it all out of the way. I didn't want to be getting helpless and feel like an invalid for 9 months straight every time we had a new baby if they were spaced out. And, well, while times were horrible a lot of the time, it is now all behind me and my family smile I have aged so much in looks during this time, and every day of pregnancy was a struggle for me.

But I will tell you something wonderful about it all - once I pop out a baby, I feel so amazingly alive and well and energetic and happy. I appreciate motherhood and my health so much more because I know how it feels to struggle every day and not be able to enjoy your children properly.

When you have your gorgeous new baby and you feel well again, then you can start a great time in your life. But at the moment your boy is so young anyway and he doesn't need you to be playing with him all the time - just being with him is enough.

I just started a blog which is about simple activities to do with kids. Maybe your boy is a bit young but I'll message it to you anyway and maybe you will get some ideas from that. xxx

Windmill, I would love to read your blog please if you felt comfortable sharing with me smile

Oh you poor thing! I seriously believe that my pregnancies have been the hardest times of my life - and I believe that after enduring my pregancies I can do anything!

Once I knew what pregnancy was like for me, this was what led me to decide to have them close together in age and get it all out of the way. I didn't want to be getting helpless and feel like an invalid for 9 months straight every time we had a new baby if they were spaced out. And, well, while times were horrible a lot of the time, it is now all behind me and my family smile I have aged so much in looks during this time, and every day of pregnancy was a struggle for me.

But I will tell you something wonderful about it all - once I pop out a baby, I feel so amazingly alive and well and energetic and happy. I appreciate motherhood and my health so much more because I know how it feels to struggle every day and not be able to enjoy your children properly.

When you have your gorgeous new baby and you feel well again, then you can start a great time in your life. But at the moment your boy is so young anyway and he doesn't need you to be playing with him all the time - just being with him is enough.

I just started a blog which is about simple activities to do with kids. Maybe your boy is a bit young but I'll message it to you anyway and maybe you will get some ideas from that. xxx

a midwife when I went to antenatal classes for my first told us how some women are 'pyscos', depressed or feel like you and the person who wrote this topic and one use to get suicidal like cutting so they had to give her c sections but as soon as the babie came out she was fine and normal... I feel sorry for women like that... it must be horrible.. oh thats a word the midwife used they all lose the SANITY... but as soon as the babies are out it returns... weird huh!

This time last year i felt like you did. I was still throwing up and no enegry and had a 2 year old running around.

Abc for kids was on all day so i could rest on the lounge. I had the phone next to me, so i could work and when i did go out i tried not to go near any shops that smelled like coffee.

I felt so guilty that i couldn't do things with little master, lucky for me he loved going for swims in his little pool instead of going to the local pool due to the hot water making me sick.