Hi, just wondering if I could get your suggestions & tips about starting my 2 1/2 year old at daycare.
He is very clingy with me & I think it would be great for him to mix with other kids and be able to cope being seperated with me. I am thinking of 2 mornings a week.
About a month ago I tried him at a occasional care program where I left him for an hour - 3 times a week. After the second week of doing this I stopped it because he was so emotional about going there and cried each time I left him I felt so guilty and stopped. The carers said he did settle but cries on & off. Each time I arrived to pick him up he would be at the door just on his own waiting for me. He didnt look like he was doing much other than waiting for me to return. His behaviour also got ver babyish at home and he has been extra clingy to me now.
I know I probably should have continued as everyone says he will get used to it but I felt so horrible leaving him. I would really like to try again, perhaps at a daycare centre in a few months but not sure if its the right thing to do. Any advice greatly appreciated!

My DS started daycare one day a week at 15 months old. He thrived from the experience and loves it. He now goes 2 days a week. You need to find a centre that you are really happy with and that you feel comfortable with. He will get better in time and hopefully start enjoying it. Good luck and I'm sure he will be fine smile

Can you read him a book or find a fave toy that he liked at the daycare!

My DD was the same, (but once I left she was fine) we would read two books and the careers let her take out the dolls. (She loves dolls)

You will find that he will settle much easier at a daycare than an occasional care programme. At occasional care, if he's only there for an hour then he isn't there long enough to really settle properly and he's not likely to build relationships with the carers or get to know his environment. He probably wouldn't even see the same children each time so he won't build relationships with them.

You should expect that even at a regular daycare it will take some time for him to settle, but he will get there eventually. At first, he will probably cry when you drop him off, but most likely he will stop before you're even out of the carpark. I think my DD cried at drop off for about a month when she started (she was 10 months and in full-time care), but the teachers told me that she was fine as soon as I left.

If you're finding that he's standing by the door apparently waiting for you to return, then that is the sign of a poor daycare where the carers aren't doing enough to engage the child. Any good carer will see a child who isn't involved with activities or with other children and will prompt that child to join in (maybe not immediately because it isn't one on one care, but hopefully within five minutes or so). Be assured that you will not have this experience at every centre.

Now, I'm mostly positive about daycare because my own DD has attended since 10 months and has had great experiences there, but she's gone because I have to work. I don't think that any child under the age of 3 or even 3 and a half *needs* to be there for social interaction and so on. Children under that age often play alongside other children as opposed to with them, and anyway, there are plenty of activities such as playgroups or music groups where children can benefit from social interaction even if they're with you. But then, if you want a break from your son and you can afford daycare, then why not? It certainly won't do any harm if you choose a good-quality centre.

Thanks for your suggestions everyone. Fingers crossed a daycare centre will work out better!

Hi, just wondering if I could get your suggestions & tips about starting my 2 1/2 year old at daycare.
He is very clingy with me & I think it would be great for him to mix with other kids and be able to cope being seperated with me. I am thinking of 2 mornings a week.
About a month ago I tried him at a occasional care program where I left him for an hour - 3 times a week. After the second week of doing this I stopped it because he was so emotional about going there and cried each time I left him I felt so guilty and stopped. The carers said he did settle but cries on & off. Each time I arrived to pick him up he would be at the door just on his own waiting for me. He didnt look like he was doing much other than waiting for me to return. His behaviour also got ver babyish at home and he has been extra clingy to me now.
I know I probably should have continued as everyone says he will get used to it but I felt so horrible leaving him. I would really like to try again, perhaps at a daycare centre in a few months but not sure if its the right thing to do. Any advice greatly appreciated!

I've got a different perspective, I think if you want him to socialise with other kids you dont have to leave him on his own at daycare to do it. Why not join a playgroup that has children of a similar age, that way he can gain confidence in social situations with the security of having you there. He's only 2 1/2, why does he need to learn to cope without you?

Its normal for a child to not want to separate from their parent, I dont think forcing them to do it is necessary (unless you have to work of course). Playgroup is great both for kids and parents, otherwise there's lots of other activities like music classes (fun toddler ones where parents participate too) or kindergym or gymbaroo that you can take him to that will give him the opportunity to play with other kids.

I think making him go to daycare will actually heighten his clingyness with you.

We attend playgroup and have since he was 10 weeks old, we also do kindagym and have playdates as often as we can. My son still prefers to cling to me or play only with me right next to him. I am well aware of his age and I dont think daycare would be harmful to him at all. I do have to return to work in September of this year for 2 days per week and I would rather set on the path and tackle the seperation anxiety prior to September. But I do believe it would benefit him regardless if I was working or not. I was hoping for suggestions on how to make the transition into daycare as easy as possible for him, not to be judged for considering putting my child into daycare.

I had the same issue with my son, I started him at 2 days a week, one day after he turned 2 because i returned to University. He had the worst seperation anxiety i had ever seen in a baby. the first few weeks that he went he was unsure about all the kids and the daycare workers that he didnt know, and he would cry and whinge for a while after i left but its only 5 months later and now i have to bribe him with ice-cream to leave. He has developed alot better since being there. He talks so much more and they are helping with toilet training and at the end of this month he will start going three days. It was the best thing that has happened to mine and my sons relationship.