Ok so I am at my wits end with my other half. He is a devoted loving partner and he does help with bub but only when I demand it. I can't leave bub home with him without getting phone calls telling me bub is just sooking, I ask what is happening and I get he is on the floor and I am watching TV so I say maybe you should play with him. He says he is to young to play with (8months) I end up having to go home to deal with it or take bub. I have him every day at work with me and I just think I should be able to leave for a few hours on a sat without the drama. I know there is probably not much advice that can be given but just need to vent and see if anyone else is in the same boat?

I am and always have been in the same boat...i cant even run to the shop to buy milk without having to take at least one of our kids. When they were littler (like yours is) he would hold them for two seconds and once they made the smallest noise they were handed back to me. I wish i could say that it will get better as they get older, but for me is hasnt.

Mine was the same when they were little. I think some(not all) men just aren't comfortable with small babies on their own.

Unlike other PP my DP did get better once the kids got a bit older

Hi there, i too am a victim as some say...as a young parent myself(mother at 17) this drives me crazy my partner (parent at 20)i had little help with my son as a new born and my son now 2 1/2yrs old is starting to get there.Its true men find it hard to play with a baby so young as to them they dont do much its always found from mates and family that dads get better about 2-3years up...when all the hard work is done by us spectacluar mothers that is..a friend of mine gave some good words of wisedom....mothers bodys change with the9mths of pregnacy wheres da dads dont have thehormones and amazing body movements at 3am its a ur gonna be a dad...feel these kicks ooo heartbeat and screaming pooping baby..it takes time and some men jus need a few more years of the boys that they never get....good luck to all woman experencing this aswell were not alone..

So glad to hear that other mum's feel this way about their partners, my DH doesn't like holding Junior unless he is happy. As soon as bubs gets upset, he hands him over...

Just a question with some constructive criticism and I'm not meaning to be rude.
Do you think you would of learnt how to settle your baby if somebody swooped in to deal with it every time it got tough?
I'd talk him through it on the phone when you're out and then... stay out and enjoy your time and space. They'll live.

It is true that men, and particularly young men, find it hard dealing with a baby who does not give much back as far as they see it.

So I think his reaction is normal.

However this is not an excuse to not change. All parents have to learn and step outside their comfort zome if they want to be the best parent they can be for their little one/s.

If you book an appointment with the health nurse and list your concerns, perhaps her reaction (which you would assume would be in the way of - he needs to help more rather than trying to live as though he has no kids) will be something that could help him. I am sure there are websites, brochures and parenting programs that could deal with this very thing. I think you should track then down, and have the professionals tell him he is not being a good dad or a good partner. Surely he does not want to fail his partner and child?

I'm sure this sounds harsh, but maybe if you don't answer the phone every time he will have to just learn to deal with it. He is a father and needs to act like it. He just needs to get his confidence up and all will be good.

You are right, you do deserve some time out for yourself, so insist you get it. If you don't do it now, you will never get it!

I agree, leave the phone at home. Mums have to learn the hard way, so should Dads. I know that sounds a bit extreme but what is happening is so not fair on you, you deserve time alone where you can actually relax, not have to sit on your phone waiting for it to ring and then rush home early!