As some of you may recall, i am looking after a 3 month old vietnamese boy every weekday. I have him from 6.30am til around 3pm. My question is, how long should it take a child to settle in to this situation typically? This is the 5th day I have had him now, and he is still really unsettled. Cries A LOT, wont take his bottle - only having up to 60 mls ALL DAY (mum still breastfeeds), only really short sleeps - yesterday was a 20 min and two 30 min naps. I really am not coping and just wondering whether this is normal behaviour for this age and situation.

Seriously thinking I'll have to tell parents that if he doesnt settle by the end of next week I cant do it anymore and it's doing my head in. Also worried he's going to get sick as not drinking enough.

Have to go, screaming again sad

Any advice would be great!

It's all still very new to him, it could take a few weeks for him to settle into his new routine with you. Is mum trying to get him to take bottles at home? 60mls is not enough for him all day so half the reason he is not settling is probably due to him being hungry, which is not your fault you are doing your best to feed him!

It's all still very new to him, it could take a few weeks for him to settle into his new routine with you. Is mum trying to get him to take bottles at home? 60mls is not enough for him all day so half the reason he is not settling is probably due to him being hungry, which is not your fault you are doing your best to feed him!

Thanks for replying. His 8 y.o. sister tells me that he does have bottles at home but "when he's really really hungry mum feeds him". So I'm guessing he doesn't drink much from bottle at home either and just holds out til mum feeds him.

I totally agree about being hungry making him unsettled.

So frustrating and just totally demoralising. I thought I'd be able to do this but I really dont think I can. Different when it's your own bub because you love them so much, but at the moment I dont feel anything positive for this baby. Feel really negative actually.

Feel really bad that I think I'm going to have to let the parents down but this is not good for bub and it's not good for me and my family the way it is. sad

6.30 in the morning is a very early start for him, which means he is up earlier than that. Maybe the bottle thing you should ask if mum can give him express milk from bottle so he gets used to it from you both? Keep a routine is very important for him. Sometimes it does take children a while to settle but a 3month old shouldnt be that unsettled. Do the parents have soothing music they have playing when he is home?
hope things get better for you

6.30 in the morning is a very early start for him, which means he is up earlier than that. Maybe the bottle thing you should ask if mum can give him express milk from bottle so he gets used to it from you both? Keep a routine is very important for him. Sometimes it does take children a while to settle but a 3month old shouldnt be that unsettled. Do the parents have soothing music they have playing when he is home?
hope things get better for you

hi, would love to ask mum to provide expressed milk, but not sure how the 8 year old would translate that over to vietnamese. Maybe they might have a different word/meaning. Dont much fancy trying to mime what I mean! blink

The language barrier is a big problem and huge part of what I'm trying to deal with. If they were english speaking i could find out his routine at home, all those little details that could make a difference for a a little one, but it's just too tricky to do with an 8 year old translating (and she's not necessarily the brightest 8 y.o. either - lovely but a bit 'blonde'). I'm sure if they knew just how unsettled he was during the day, they'd be concerned. I know I would be if it was my child.

Also, I use the word 'unsettled' but it's way more than that. He's actually really unhappy and quite distressed several times a day, for quite a period of time. He's really hard to comfort as he doesn't like being held, but even on the playmat or in the rocker he just cries and cries. We (my 4 y.o. DD and I) can distract him for short times but then he starts up again. I feel really sorry for him, but also quite sorry for myself wink

I know I'm making jokes about it, but that's about the only way I can handle it at the moment. Feel really tense all day and feeling sick about the following day every night. Not sleeping well worrying, and consequently quite tired too. My poor 7 y.o. copped it yesterday arvo when she was throwing a tantrum, and I threw one right back at her cos I was so stressed from the baby all day. sad

Double!