Preparing for baby – Important decisions: baby names, circumcision, breast or bottle
As the time to deliver your baby approaches, there are lots of important decisions you’ll be faced with. You can make some of the decisions about your baby in advance, while others may not go to plan. But it’s a good idea to take some time to think about some of these things and talk them over with your partner.
Feeding your baby
The decision to breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby is a very personal one, however it is also one that is hotly debated between parents, the medical community and the community at large.
Breast milk will undoubtedly provide your baby with the best possible nutrition in her early months and the World Health Organisation recommends that babies are fed nothing but breastmilk for the first six months of their life.
However, a few women sometimes feel strongly opposed to the idea of breastfeeding, whether for cultural, physical, family or other reasons.
Most women are able to breastfeed their child successfully given the right support and there are many resources available for women in most areas of New Zealand.
However, with the best intentions, some women may find that breastfeeding just is not possible for them.
Before your baby arrives, it is worth reading, asking questions and gathering information so that you feel more informed about breastfeeding and you can be more comfortable about making a decision about what is right for you and your baby.
- Feeding your baby – breast and bottle
- Ministry of Health – Breastfeeding.org.nz
- The La Leche League
- Plunket – tips on breastfeeding
Circumcision for boys
In Australia and New Zealand, it is unusual for boys to be circumcised unless it is a part of their family’s religious or cultural tradition and elective circumcision is not available in most public hospitals or children’s hospitals.
The Australian Association of Paediatric Surgeons (AAPS), the Australasian Urological Society and the Royal Australasian College of Physicians (RACP) all recommend that boys are not routinely circumcised.
Male circumcision was a trend in Australia, NZ and the UK from the 1920s to the 1960s, but has been discouraged since the 1970s for medical reasons as the risks of routine circumcision are considered far greater than any perceived benefits.
Today, the incidence of neonatal circumcision in New Zealand is very low. In fact, it may be one of the lowest of all English speaking nations (CIRP – Circumcision Reference Library).
Fathers who have been circumcised are often concerned that their sons will have a different-looking penis; however circumcision is now very much a minority procedure except in certain religious communities and is more likely to mark boys apart from their peers.
Circumcision of their son is a personal decision that some parents will consider. You are advised to talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of circumcision before weighing up the options available to you.
If you have considered the arguments on both sides of the debate and still wish to proceed with circumcision, it is recommended that the operation be done under a general anaesthetic by an experienced surgeon and that you wait until your son is at least 6 to 12 months old because the operation and anaesthetic are safer then.
Retaining the foreskin is helpful for newborn babies as the foreskin protects the sensitive glans of the penis suffering from nappy rash.
Occasionally circumcision is recommended for medical reasons including recurrent infections or abnormal tightness of the foreskin, however this is rare and most foreskin problems can be treated without the need for an operation.
Although there are now far fewer doctors willing to perform the surgery, you should be able to arrange a referral to a qualified surgeon through your family doctor if you choose to go ahead with the procedure.
Naming your baby
This is a really big decision about your child that can be an agonising and difficult choice for many parents – while it’s a snap for others.
Some parents choose names for their child as soon as they find out they are expecting – or even before. Others wait to choose a name for a few hours, days or even weeks after their baby arrives so that they can find a name they feel suits the child. (And sometimes because they just can’t decide!)
You will also need to discuss your child’s surname. Traditionally, children have taken their father’s surname and most married parents still automatically choose this option; but you don’t have to follow the crowd.
Some parents choose to give their child a hyphenated combination of both of their surnames. This is fine if the names are fairly short, easy to spell and sound good together although do beware of inflicting a lifelong burden on your child by loading them up with a double-barrelled spelling challenge.
There is also a long history in some English and European cultures of bestowing a mother’s maiden name as her child’s middle name, which may be a better alternative to hyphenation.
If you choose hyphenation, there are no rules about which name goes first although because of the tradition of mother’s middle names being used, often the mother’s name will be the first. Do try out each combination and choose the one that sounds best.
There are a number of things you need to consider when choosing your child’s first name.
First, you need to remember that this is the name that your child will probably have for life (unless they hate it so much they change it!)
Make sure the name you give your child will last their lifetime; it should suit a baby, a child, a teenager, an adult and a very old person.
Do you want a different and unusual name or a traditional, old-fashioned name – or would you prefer a name that is more popular and will “fit in” with his or her peers?
Think carefully before choosing an unusual spelling or pronunciation for your child’s name; while it makes your child’s name stand out now, it may also mean a lifetime of spelling-out for your child.
Do you have close family members or friends who have children with certain names – and does it matter if your child has the same name?
Look up the name you have chosen and see if you like the meaning and origins of the name do beware of their initials spelling-out something inappropriate or possibilities for unpleasant nicknames or short versions that might lead to your child being teased.
When you choose your baby’s first name, try it out with your chosen surname and middle name.
Some couples find it really difficult to choose a name that they both agree on.
Try to find a strategy to resolve the name debate so that you both feel happy about the outcome. For example, maybe you could both make as long a list as possible of names that you can live with – then swap lists and each choose a name from the other’s list.
Do your best to choose a good name for your child – and rest assured that whatever name you choose for your child, within a few days it is likely to suit them completely.
Find more helpful hints on choosing a name for your baby.
We have thousands of baby names in our baby name finder to help you choose the perfect name for your new baby. Whether you’re looking for a popular or unique baby name, a name of particular origin, or a name with a special meaning, our baby name finder will make it easy.
Join the Huggies Club now to enjoy the added benefit of creating, and managing your personal list of favourite baby names online and share them with friends and family.
By Fran Molloy – journalist and mum of 4